Even the boss gets scared….

In the last tag of random facts bout me, the fact that got most attention was the fact that I once forgot my wife, prompted by Shail, I think I should actually make a post out of it !!

Well it was one of those Diwali days and my inlaws had gone out of station, at that time there were a lot of thefts happening so they wanted that some one would go to their house to sleep.

So I and my wife would go to their house to sleep in the night, it was also attractive for us as all our friends would come over and we would watch movies or play cards and have a full house to us. I loved cooking eggs and I don’t get any chance to do that in my own house so that was the added attraction. If mom reads this I am gone !

Well after a late night party which ended at 4 in the morning I got up at 7 with my stomach churning a bit… I prefer to use my own loo and I am very very very fussy bout the bathroom. Our office has a very neat bathroom but if I have to go to the loo, I have to go home 12 kms away…. Lol…

So I woke up wifey to pack and go, I told her to leave everything as it is and we will clean it up later and lets go home.

My house is just 10 mins drive on the bike. (in those days I had a Yamaha Enticer … aaah those were the days !!!)

They live on the 1st floor, I climbed down the stairs and wife was locking the door and coming after, somehow … half in sleep and half in a trance to get to the loo fast…. I started the bike…. And simply drove home…

At home my mom was on the verandah on our swing and asked me where is Hetal ?

And I was like oh !! Gulp !!

My mom just clapped her hand once and said to me “Maryo” (Gujarati word, I guess I don’t need to translate, but well it means you’re Dead now !!)

I immediately went back, no I didn’t go to the loo first, I went back….

and I found her hips on hands….

Staring me…

I was like smirking, but didn’t dare burst out laughing…

I just took the bike near her and …. said, “ I ‘ m so so sorry ! I, I, well was sleepy and don’t know, kaunsi dhoon mein tha…”

“sorry”

She burst out laughing and told me she had never seen me so scared and sat on the bike and we drove home…. I guess she was happy by the amount of fear she saw on my face… lol… Now I am thankful to her sense of humour.

I am so, so absent minded and forgetful what to do…. Have some sympathy with me too !!

Now I am sure Smita will agree I am the King of forgetfulness !!

The Greatest Legend in Cricket Commentary

Just came across the news that Richie Benaud is set to retire from cricket commentary after 33 years behind the microphone. I will surely miss him, he is the biggest influence on all cricket commentators and an unbelievably lovely human being. He will be surely missed by cricket fans like me….

From my childhood days, I remember, we used to get up at 5.30 to find India at 50/5 and never doing well, it was only this man who would make it bearable to watch India being torn apart in Australia. We used to marvel at his vocabulary. He doesn’t speak very loudly or too much, he lets the cricket speak for itself, he just broadens your view.

Then he has these wonderful stories to tell you of the cricketers of his age. His stories of the Tied Test Match would totally spell bound us. He is one of the few Australians who is genuinely respected by the English tooo and has an almost non controversial character in cricket. A thorough gentleman always.

Listening to him and Ian Chappell discuss the cricket of old days you get an insight into Test Cricket and that it is actually an intriguingly simple game, yes intriguingly simple. Richie Benaud declares clearly Shane Warne is the greatest spinner ever seen by the world, however he himself was no mean legspinner. He along with Alan Davidson helped restore Australia to the top of World Cricket in the 1950’s.
He again was one of the finest cricket captains in the history of the sport, he will always be remembered for the tied test match and that test series with the West Indies where both Captains Richie Benaud and Frank Worrell encouraged their teams to play attacking cricket. Attacking cricket and not sledging mind you.
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He never used to loose his cool or emotions either on the cricket field or in the media box, however once when Greg Chappell instructed Trevor Chappell to bowl the infamous underarm delivery when NewZealand need four runs of the last ball, Richie got so angry that Australian Cricket was disgraced by Greg Chappell, here is a video that will tell you how angry Richie was then and what he thought of the Australian Captain Greg Chappell and his unsportsmen like tactic…

For the modern world Richie Benaud will always be the commentator the media person par excellence…
Here are some of his customary and memorable quotes :
Good morning everyone
Captaincy is ninety per cent luck and ten per cent skill, but don’t try it without that ten per cent
There were congratulations and high sixes all round
That was a great catch, get yourself a cool beverage son
Simply Marvellous!
What a catch!

…And Glenn McGrath dismissed for two, just ninety-eight runs short of his century.
That was an absolute cracker.”

Stirring moments”

Indeed Richie… Stirring moments with you …

Random things bout me….

This tag I have seen on Monika’s and felt like doing and IHM officially tagged me so here I go… as such I have written a lot about myself already, but what the heck… one more go…

First the rules -

Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it’s because I want to know more about you.

So here we go…..

1.) I was most embarassed recently in a train journey, I was travelling alone from Mumbai to Indore, A mother had come to drop her 18 year old daughter, after a while of introduction the mother told me, ” Now that my daughter is with you, I have no worries, she is safe.”

Its ok, I mean yea I ain’t gonna do anything. I am a good man, but why did she have to say that and that too to me on my face??. Wonder what she meant when she said, she is safe with me ???? I was like totally freaked off inside !!!! This was not at all a compliment…. sheeesh….

2.) I want to retire, as soon as possible and end up in the hills, maybe do a bit of farming and relaxing…. anything but working in an office.

3.) I can never focus, I always am multi-tasking. I can never do one thing at a time. My biggest problem.

4.) I am as terrible as I can get in Maths. I simply am terrible.

5.) I used to hate studies and always had to inquire about my syllabus on the day of the exam in higher secondary school, remarkably though I never failed ever in my life in any final exams. Internals I did flunk but never been failed or promoted. Always passed on merit !!!

6.) My books would never be complete, I spent ages out side the class, being slapped lots of times by teachers and doing sit ups almost every day.

7.) However my English notebook would always be complete. At times I would be ahead of the class, I loved language, and one of the reason for it was the girls would always ask for my book to copy answers, so to impress girls and develop a friendship my English book used to be always full. That is how I fell in love with English….

8.) We had a mango tree in our house in Bharuch but we never bothered to eat from it, still once I was caught at another person’s bungalow stealing mangoes and my complaint reached home and I was given a good pasting by Mum.

9.) I hate shaving my beard… if I had the choice I would never shave, but my beard grows in such sprouts I cannot keep it.. tsk tsk…

10.) Till I held my son in my hands I used to hate small kids and babies and never take them in my hand. I used to think they were a pain in the neck.

11.) I once forgot my wife and drove home…. I was very sleepy then…. some how I am still married to this very very very kind lady…. that was a close shave though….

12.) I am probably the most forgetful guy in the world… at times really absent minded.

13.) Whenever any one in the house, my mom or dad or younger brothers or my wife or my son show me something wrong done by me, I always proclaim, “Who’s the boss of the house ?” ( its me… tee hee, it gets them all really irritated.)

14.) As a medical representative I used to really never work seriously and used to bunk work a lot of times. However my sales targets were always achieved. Some luck some intelligence involved.

15.) I once came second in my school in 2nd Standard with 93.7% and I think that was a big big achievement !!

16.) I once got 1.5 marks in accounts out of 70 in college F.Y. B.com internal exams, the results didnt matter though. I burnt my papers and never told home about them. In S.Y.Bcom I didnt give internal exams, bunked them, we would sit in canteen while others would appear for the exams !!! We were heroes who were showing off, we felt it was brave to be not giving exams. Told Mom the internals were cancelled !!!!

17.) I started smoking at the age of 16 and have never been able to stop, rather I dont want to stop.

18.) I actually think I still have potential to become a singer, and I just need a break !

19.) I am not at all religious and hate to follow any traditions, however I do believe in God. Only, my god has no religion !

20.) I can never hate a woman ! never…

21.) I & my wife both want to get drunk once, so badly drunk we don’t realise what we are doing, problem is it tastes so awful I cant swallow it in enough quantities. Tried almost everything but nothing goes down… for both…

22.) I am singing almost all the times, I just can’t stop. All the songs I hear, I have to sing along them… I just can’t resist.

23.) I used to think I am going to become a cricketer, however once I went for Gujarat Selections for under-19, I just realised my potential wasn’t there… that is when I realised maybe I will have to study and graduate and find a job.

24.) I couldn’t play as well, but I still believe that I know, understand and analyse the game better then many of the experts. It is actually a fact not a myth, but you all will not believe it. I should be the coach of the team, not Gary Kirsten. I would do the job for free !!! Please take me !!!

25.) I still dream some day I will win some crorepati show or find some treasure or someday suddenly my whole life is going to change. I am the Sheik Chilli Types…

Now I am supposed to tag 25 people, but most I know have been tagged by IHM.

However there are some I would still like to tag and get to know them better – : Rahul, Abhishek, Riya, Shilpa, Varunavi, Mou, Ramesh, Phoenix, Swagatika, Mayz, Ajit, Connie, Deborah, Magic Eye, Lakshmi, Indira, Serendipity, Ranu … Lets get to know you all a lil better !!!!

How Valentine’s day has become symbolic not for love but for hate…

Until college Valentines day was not very popular amongst us, infact I myself found it particularly silly to be gifting greeting cards and flowers. Those days were also the no lover days so it didnt particularly matter. We used to think its the Archies Gallery sort of people who are promoting the festival just to ensure their card sells. A lot of us thought that for expressing love why just one day, the lovers always express their love and gift each other.

However one event in our college changed Valentines for us in a strange way, thought I should share… Heres how it goes… this happened in 1998

Part – I – the scene -

We used to study in Maharaja Sayajirao University in Baroda which is India’s single largest standing university. We do not have colleges but we have faculties. We would have all sorts of rose days, chocolate days, traditional days, musical days and what not. Similarly each faculty in our University would celebrate the Rose King and Rose Queen on Valentines day. The idea was to bring lots of flowers at 10rs. count them and sell in the college at 25rs. when you bought the flower you would tell for whom you bought it !!!! so they would note it down and then at the end of the day the Rose King and Rose Queen would be announced. Where the money would go no one knew !!!!!

My group never much celebrated as we were always broke for money, rather we would buy cigarettes and chai’s and nashta’s then spend on roses and cards.

In the second year of our college some Bajrang Dal people had ransacked a few shops and also warned the university not to celebrate.

Part – 2. – the Bapu’s -

In our university there were huge number hostels and hostelites. In our university hostel campus there were atleast 8 to 10 huge halls in the boys section and similarly in girls section. My roll number in FY Bcom was 4827 !!!! so you can imagine the number of students….

In all the boys hall, room no. 51 & 52 would be occupied by Bapu’s. They were all from Rajasthan, Rajputs and they were Dada’s of a sort. Most of them were huge in size and we Gujju’s would look like dwarfs in front of them. A lot of them were illegal residents in the hostel, but who would take on them or stop them. They would come and exchange their old beds for your new ones, their broken buckets with your new ones and what not….

They would always be in denims, they would only drive Enfield bullets and not a lot of people would be allowed in their groups easily. They would eat like crazy, drink like crazy and if any one came into a fight with them they would beat them like crazy….

We would always hide our things when they would come to our rooms, especially ghar ka khana, soaps, deodarants etc or they would just ask, “Arre Can I borrow this ?” all of us were in such awe usually would never refuse and they would take it away. They always had the most beautiful girls as their girlfriends and even if they broke up no one would dare to get tooo cosy with that girl fearing the Bapu back lash !!!

They had a customary style of greeting, ” Khambhakhani Bapu” and they were truly the kings of the college.

Main Story -

Our commerce faculty is on the main road and very near to the outside world, Most of these Bapu’s are in commerce. The faculty was celebrating Rose Day on Valentines… making rose king and queen… The Bapu’s were sitting at their customary place outside the canteeen and every one was watching the proceedings…. We rarely attended lectures as attendance was not compulsory in our college. The campus was abuzz…

It was at this point some 8-10 Bajrang Dal activists came in college campus to stop the rose day celebrations… the guys who brought the roses and were going to earn from it were the G.S (general secreatary etc the election winners) they were powerful and our number was huge… those 8-10 activists were beaten up !!! They were sent out of college… they ran…. for their lives we thought !!!!

But in another hour they returned with hockey sticks and atleast 50-60 people…. the scene was set…. for the collegians to now run….

This was the time when the Bapu’s stepped in and told all, not told actually warned every one, no body will run, we are more then 1000 here… these 50-60 and they are no match for us… the Bapu’s even warned us the one who runs… ” Koi nahi Bhagega, Agar Koi yahan se Bhaga to Uski kher nahi, Inka college se koi lena dena nahi, Inko hum sabak sikhayenge !!! “

What ensued there after was unbelievable, those 50 -60 people were bashed up like anything…. most of them ran away but 3-4 were caught and they were given a bashing of their lives….

The Bapu’s (Dada’s of that time, some called them goonda’s) became the heroes of the college… Every one from that day onwards had a sense of respect towards them…

The next day again was celebrated as the Baasi-Valentines Day. In Gujarat there is a system of Baasi-Uttrayana, Baasi Eid etc… meaning the day after is still celebrated as people are not content with just the one day !!

Not one Bajrang Dal activist dared to come near any faculty there after…. It actually was very symbolic the next day for all to celebrate Valentines day just to show to these goons that they don’t matter…. For many years it was like that, in my mind too that I should celebrate Valentines day, not just for it is a day to express your love, but more so to show that Shiv Sena’s, Bajrang Dal’s etc cannot control us.

It is strange that since the last few years we almost had forgotten to celebrate it, but it was this idiot from Mangalore who again aroused the same feelings of our college days.

I would like to tell all don’t run and don’t take the beating from any one if you are innocent. We are too many and the goons are too less…. Some say this Pink Chaddi is vulgar, well it is a lot lot better… Our Bapu’s campaign would probably have been to give the Mangalore goonda’s even worse treatment then the one they gave to the innocent girls in Mangalore.

And by the way -

” Happy Valentine’s Day !!!!”

6 months on the blogosphere !!!!

I just noticed that yesterday I completed 6 months on the blogosphere !!!!

I am a 6 month old blogger now… it has been quite a journey…. lots of views shared, lots of laughter, unbelievable for me to receive so many awards, one poem, lots of rhyming and some funny & quirky tags but most importantly becoming a member of what I call is a “Blog Samaj”

My parents and elders always used to force me to go and join the Jain Samaj or Gujarati Samaj, their view was it will help me to get to know more new people in Indore !!

Well I have come to know a lot more people from around India ! I am a proud member of this new “Blog Samaj”

I have made a few friends, learnt a lot from people here and I would say, become even more thoughtful and sensible now. (atleast I think so)

It was Ranu who almost forced me to start a blog, I jumped on the wagon thinking maybe I might become famous or earn some money. Never did I know that I would become so addicted and that this would give me so much satisfaction. Frankly now I just love doing this regardless…. and I thank Ranu from the bottom of my heart for introducing me to the “Blog Samaj”.

Thanks to some of the blogs, I even started feeling guilty about eating hot hot chapaties. Which is really silly as I love them so much. Infact I don’t eat hot hot chapaties any more and make it a point to sit together for lunch. I was certified JKG (Joru Ka Gulam) !! by IHM from whom I have learnt to call a spade a spade, write what I think and not care if it is politically correct or not. I at times am amazed by her passion.

Thanks to Backpacker, Magic Eye & Indrani, I got interested and started a photoblog, sharing my own pictures at first and now I have also enrolled two friends to share on our photoblog where we want to show pictures of India. For us, all three Bharuchi’s, it would be a life time achievement if we can see the whole of India.

Deborah, Nina & Connie are people who share wonderful pictures of the places around them and actually made me aware that even I lived in a beautiful place, it was only a matter of looking. Remember beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.

When I started I wanted to write about cricket, I also have a cricket blog, but still amazingly I write less about it then I thought I would at the start.

I don’t remember how I discovered Usha & Shail’s blog, I never thought I would like reading poetries, but these ladies actually made me stop, read, think and understand and I actually now find poetries interesting !! (trust me I thought poets and poetries were not normal, but now I am a poet tooo !!! ) I used to hate poetry, Well well… I wrote my first poetry thanks to the “Blog Samaj” influence.

Monika’s doc tales had me laughing looking at the screen and my colleagues would come and ask me what was so interesting.

Indyeah’s blog was the one that told me I should write to my heart’s content, earlier there was a tendency to write short articles so that the readers would read and not go away, but reading her blogs told me to write what I wanted to write. I stopped worrying about if readers would read instead started writing all that I actually wanted to tell. She is an amazingly passionate blogger as well…. Eventually I realised that readers always stick around if what you write is interesting, regardless of the length of the article.

Ajit, an ordinary Indian, from whom I learnt to write with a soul, He writers wonderful stuff with which I can relate to plus he can be a wonderful story teller…

I met a few pleasant friends in Shilpa, a sweet writer with a strong view point, Varunavi, a wonderful cook and potentially a good funny stories writer, Riya, a doctor cum dancer cum writer.

Then I met, Smita, a sweet person (although I don’t know her personally I can tell that) who is going to make me a reader of books once again surely.

There are a few interesting guys like, Trailblazer, a rational thinker but one who writes with lots of sarcasm and funny anecdotes & Global Madrasi, truly global and a Bruce Lee fan like me.

Chirag, Chamoli (wat does Chamoli mean?) writes some really funny stuff, which inspires me to think out of the box. He has lots of updates to help technically naive bloggers like me, who are still to come to terms with the gadgets and widgets.

Rahul, a guy who updates me with all the new tool bars and even is helping me at the moment to earn out of the blog.

There are some whom I envy, like Vamsee at the amount of travel she gets to do and I marvel at her photographs. Also Smitha who is on a 7 weeks vacation currently.

There are some who make me want to wake up and try and make a difference like Serendipity and Nomad. They are good souls and are helping create a few more…

I have always read and marvelled at the observation of Ugich Konitari, she is a very sensitive person who never misses out the smallest of gestures. She observes and writes with a lot of intricacy.

Then at times I fail to understand a few writers at times, Abhishek, Mayz, Swagatika and Phoenix but hey I am not giving up. I am gonna read up all the stuff.

Then there is a champion blogger like Domain Maximus, he has an unbelievable sense of humour.

Ritu, always writing witty stuff with a devilish streak.

Solilo, a multi talented rhymer !!!

Sagarone, he always touches issues I have no knowledge of and makes me at times embarassed of my general knowledge.

There are so many other bloggers apart from the ones I mentioned above that I read daily, they have become a part of my life, there are many I am still discovering every day. When I get comments my heart warms, it tells me people read stuff I write, they relate to it, feel about it, object to it and even laugh due to it !!!!

This “Blog Samaj” is a wonderful place to join and be a part of. I have not met any of my fellow bloggers till date yet I dream some day we all bloggers would meet up in the hills and stay together and have camp fires with lots of discussions and lots of treks taking wonderful photos and sharing lots of jokes.

So far… so so so so so goood….

For all of you who are raging a culture and freedom debate… please read this post : http://kaimhanta.blogspot.com/2009/02/whose-culture-is-it-anyway-yours-mine.html

Indian Potatoes

These various versions of culture by various people have confused me, I thought my culture or should I say our culture was to embrace all foreign cultures.

Even take a bit of the foreign culture mix it with ours and have our culture progressing or should be call it culture evolution !! Also share a part of our culture to the other culture and ensure that the other cultures also has an evolution process going on.

Now with Sanskriti and Chaddi’s flying in I am confused.

Beating up women is definitely not my Sanskriti !

I would like to ask Muthalik does he eat potatoes ?
Assume the answer would be yes !

So I would like to tell him that eating potatoes is not our Sanskriti !!! Its the Portugese that brought the most favourite Potato to India !!! Even cottage cheese that we consume is not Indian, again it was introduced by Portugese.

So if some potato eating goon decides to preach Sanskriti just tell him he ain’t qualified. Coz potatoes ain’t Indian…. So if he eats potatoes he ain’t got no right to speak about Sanskriti…

Geee I eat potatoes tooo… guess I have no right to speak about Sanskriti tooo….

No probs, I won’t talk about Sanskriti. But I am not stopping eating those potatoes anytime sooon !!!!

As Mcdonald’s would say, ” I ‘ m loving it !! “

Happy Valentine (Velan time) Week !!!

Got this in Email today, this is hilarious !

In spite of what you have been told by everyone, the truth is that Valentine’s Day originated hundreds of years ago, in India, and to top it all, in the state of Gujarat !!! It is a well known fact that Gujarati men, specially the Patels, continually mistreat and disrespect their wives (Patelianis).

One fine day, it happened to be the 14th day of February, one brave Patelani, having had enough “torture” by her husband, finally chose to rebel by beating him up with a Velan (rolling pin to make chapattis). Yes….the same Velan which she used daily, to make chapattis for him…. only this time, instead of the dough, it was the husband who was flattened.

This was a momentous occasion for all Gujarati women and a revolt soon spread, like wild fire, with thousands of housewives beating up their husbands with the Velan. There was an outburst of moaning “chapatti-ed” husbands all over Anand and Amdavad. The Patel men-folk quickly learnt their lesson and started to behave more respectfully with their Patelanis.

Thereafter, on 14th February every year, the womenfolk of Gujarat would beat up their husbands, to commemorate that eventful day – the wives having the satisfaction of beating up their husbands with the Velan and the men having the supreme joy of submitting to the will of the women they loved. Soon The Gujju men realised that in order to avoid this ordeal they need to present gifts to their wives….they brought flowers and sweets.

This is how the tradition – Velan time – began. As Gujarat fell under the influence of Western culture, the ritual soon spread to Britain and many other Western countries, specifically, the catch words ‘Velan time’ !!! In course of time, their foreign tongues, this got anglisized to ‘Velantime’ and then to ‘Valentine’. And thereafter, 14th of February, came to be known as Valentine’s Day and now you know the true story of Valentine’s day. HAPPY VALENTINE’S WEEK!!!!!!!!

Maybe untrue but amusing for sure !!!

A trip, a story and a tag…

I am tagged again and this time it is two lovely ladies in two days, first it was Vamsee and then by Solilo.

This one doesn’t require much. All one has to do is to

Pick the 6th picture of your 6th photo folder.
Tell a story around it.
Pass it on to six other people you like.

Well unfortunately this is the photo… I was really tempted to change it and cheat it, but I havent… This is from February 2007, it was taken on my trip from Bharuch to Selvasa, this was just before I shifted to Indore.

That day it was very foggy, while leaving Bharuch just was testing the camera and taking pictures of the highway fog… I just don’t know what story to make of this truck !!!!!

Just to give you a point to ponder, Imagine a container load of Pink Chaddi’s in that truck on way to Sri Ram Sena’s Office …. wow….

I am also supposed to tag 6 people, but I leave it open to all… Who ever finds an interesting 6th picture in the 6th folder, kindly be my guest… and yes if you do, do let me know !!!