tHe DoWrY tHaT wEnT aWrY

 

Just read Solilo Don’s post about her dad and the comment banter led me to the topic of dowry and an idea for a post brewed up….

 

Now yours truly had a love marriage, the love came into the open a tad early when yours truly was earning only Rs. 3000/- a month… so obviously when the girls dad came to know about it he is bound to have lots of problems with this fact…

 

He shows her MBA grooms earning fat 5 figure salaries and says prefer them to this a lowly B.com…. she says Dad we are like HDFC slow and steady but always growing…  ( HDFC = Hetal Dhiren Fabulous Couple)

 

Eventually a few interviews later the lowly Bcom finds a job good enough to support himself and her… Now comes the marriage talk part…

 

Mom is like.. how can i approach directly…

some one must arrange a meeting…

I was tooo snooty… I didnt like my mom’s hesitation… (they were richer than us, so what !!)

I kicked my bike…

 

off to her house and in total hero style that day… went and told her dad… We both love each other and have decided to spend our lives together… !!! We seek your permission… !! Here I was in a jeans and t-shirt, unshaven but with lots of gusto…

 

He was taken aback… but recovered to his senses and well,  seeked to meet my Mom.  Things took care of themselves there after… I wanted a civil marriage with no relatives… only me my wife and my brothers parents and my friends… Not that I hated my relatives… but involving more people meant this is to be done and that is not to be done etc.. plus KHARCHA … I was very clear… whatever kind of wedding I had… but I had to have a good honeymoon… I didnt want any scarcity there… but alas….   My FIL didnt want a hush-hush affair…

 

So we had a proper wedding as my wife didnt want to disappoint her dad before leaving their house…

 

Yours truly became total Kangaal in that wedding… coz he had barely started earning …. Borrowed money for the honeymoon too from a friend… !!!! sigh… !!! but had a lavish honeymoon nevertheless…

 

I remember when we three brothers were growing people would always joke with our parents that we have no kharcha… that you have 3 boys… !!!

 

When I was growing up in those days we would have lots of TV programs where they would show DIL’s burnt and harassed when they didnt bring dowry etc…  So we did desist dowry but at the same time I was clear in my mind that although I wont demand dowry… I am sure I would be given tons of gifts…. I was drooling at that thought….

 

Even when we went to get my wedding card printed I was seriously telling my mom to write that dont come without gifts to the wedding….. but sanity prevailed…

 

Uniquely enough in our caste wedding, the daughters dad doesnt have too much kharcha, the bride sits in the wedding wearing all clothes and jewellery that the boy’s side family have given to her… only the nose ring for the girl comes from her father’s family (the nose ring is symbolic that she is to keep the nose meaning respect of her Dad’s house in the new family, Fortunately for my FIL my wife doesnt have a nose pierced… so that kharcha of his was also saved…)

 

Admist all the chaos the two Samdhi’s had not decided how to marry in Jain style (my religion) or Hindu style (her religion) and strangely enough both my parents and her parents were not very clear about how and what to do… so eventually we ended up doing a wedding in Arya samaj vidhi which the pandit did all by himself…… everything went fine… untill the wedding got over and everyone started asking … arre… mera phera to aaya hi nahi… so while we stopped after 4 fera’s…. they made us do another 3 !!!!! The pandit kept grumbling all the time.. coz my friends had pelted him with a gazillion flowers specifically targetting him….

 

I still dont remember what any of my side relatives gave me… all I can remember is that they all kept giving gifts to my wife (jewellery) … which she claims as “Stree Dhan”… I so many times coax her to sell it all and invest in shares but she wont…

 

Even my Mom she didnt give me a gift for my wedding…. but kept giving her tons of jewellery and sarees… !!!! (yes yours truly paid for a fair few of  them too)

 

The one gift my brothers gave me was a beautiful photo frame… which the idiots liked too much so they thought they would gift it to me and it would adorn the drawing room walls !!!!!!!!  (some gift that)

 

Yes… a couple of good souls gifted the his and her watches… they were the only saving grace… most gifted me with cups and saucers and night lamps and what not…. so many just gave us flowers… yelch… !!!!! What a waste… show me the money honey… !!!

 

I had hopes I would get gifts…. I had hopes I would get dowry …. after all I was the boy !!!!!!!   However as they say truth is stranger than fiction…

 

At the end of the entire wedding what I received was 2 pairs of clothes from my In-laws, (they were gifting a suit I didnt take as i wouldnt wear so they gifted two pairs) one Gold Chain and would you believe it… one Godrej Storewell Cupboard… and inspite of me saying no zillion times they would gift their daughter with a cupboard… !!!!

 

So you tell me what kind of dowry is this ???   2 pairs of clothes, 1 chain that i dont wear and 1 Cupboard ???? :(

 

I told her so many times… tell your dad if he wants to give something give me his car… why the heck is he hell bent upon giving me a goddamn cupboard ????

 

Now Sol’s …. she was 48 kgs when i married her… and she is a lot more now… !!!! Cant mention the weight exactly coz she will make me sleep outside the house…

 

You know an amazing thing was captured by our photographer…. after the bidaai… where everyone was crying and we left… the photo grapher kept shooting and he shot my wife’s brother and dad both laughing…. almost immediately after we had left…  !!!!!!!!!!!

(were they all pretending ????? OMG )

 

Whether it was some joke or were they laughing on me…. sigh…. I will never know…. !!!!!

 

 

Maybe they were thinking on the lines….    “Yeh to khud hi aa ke le gaya… humko to dhoondna bhi nahi pada… huh ??”