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tHe DoWrY tHaT wEnT aWrY

June 18, 2009

 

Just read Solilo Don’s post about her dad and the comment banter led me to the topic of dowry and an idea for a post brewed up….

 

Now yours truly had a love marriage, the love came into the open a tad early when yours truly was earning only Rs. 3000/- a month… so obviously when the girls dad came to know about it he is bound to have lots of problems with this fact…

 

He shows her MBA grooms earning fat 5 figure salaries and says prefer them to this a lowly B.com…. she says Dad we are like HDFC slow and steady but always growing…  ( HDFC = Hetal Dhiren Fabulous Couple) :mrgreen:

 

Eventually a few interviews later the lowly Bcom finds a job good enough to support himself and her… Now comes the marriage talk part…

 

Mom is like.. how can i approach directly…

some one must arrange a meeting…

I was tooo snooty… I didnt like my mom’s hesitation… (they were richer than us, so what !!)

I kicked my bike…

 

off to her house and in total hero style that day… went and told her dad… We both love each other and have decided to spend our lives together… !!! We seek your permission… !! Here I was in a jeans and t-shirt, unshaven but with lots of gusto… :D

 

He was taken aback… but recovered to his senses and well,  seeked to meet my Mom.  Things took care of themselves there after… I wanted a civil marriage with no relatives… only me my wife and my brothers parents and my friends… Not that I hated my relatives… but involving more people meant this is to be done and that is not to be done etc.. plus KHARCHA … I was very clear… whatever kind of wedding I had… but I had to have a good honeymoon… I didnt want any scarcity there… but alas….   My FIL didnt want a hush-hush affair…

 

So we had a proper wedding as my wife didnt want to disappoint her dad before leaving their house…

 

Yours truly became total Kangaal in that wedding… coz he had barely started earning …. Borrowed money for the honeymoon too from a friend… !!!! sigh… !!! but had a lavish honeymoon nevertheless… :D :D :D

 

I remember when we three brothers were growing people would always joke with our parents that we have no kharcha… that you have 3 boys… !!! :)

 

When I was growing up in those days we would have lots of TV programs where they would show DIL’s burnt and harassed when they didnt bring dowry etc…  So we did desist dowry but at the same time I was clear in my mind that although I wont demand dowry… I am sure I would be given tons of gifts…. I was drooling at that thought…. :)

 

Even when we went to get my wedding card printed I was seriously telling my mom to write that dont come without gifts to the wedding….. but sanity prevailed…

 

Uniquely enough in our caste wedding, the daughters dad doesnt have too much kharcha, the bride sits in the wedding wearing all clothes and jewellery that the boy’s side family have given to her… only the nose ring for the girl comes from her father’s family (the nose ring is symbolic that she is to keep the nose meaning respect of her Dad’s house in the new family, Fortunately for my FIL my wife doesnt have a nose pierced… so that kharcha of his was also saved…)

 

Admist all the chaos the two Samdhi’s had not decided how to marry in Jain style (my religion) or Hindu style (her religion) and strangely enough both my parents and her parents were not very clear about how and what to do… so eventually we ended up doing a wedding in Arya samaj vidhi which the pandit did all by himself…… everything went fine… untill the wedding got over and everyone started asking … arre… mera phera to aaya hi nahi… so while we stopped after 4 fera’s…. they made us do another 3 !!!!! The pandit kept grumbling all the time.. coz my friends had pelted him with a gazillion flowers specifically targetting him…. :D

 

I still dont remember what any of my side relatives gave me… all I can remember is that they all kept giving gifts to my wife (jewellery) … which she claims as “Stree Dhan”… I so many times coax her to sell it all and invest in shares but she wont…

 

Even my Mom she didnt give me a gift for my wedding…. but kept giving her tons of jewellery and sarees… !!!! (yes yours truly paid for a fair few of  them too)

 

The one gift my brothers gave me was a beautiful photo frame… which the idiots liked too much so they thought they would gift it to me and it would adorn the drawing room walls !!!!!!!!  (some gift that) :mrgreen:

 

Yes… a couple of good souls gifted the his and her watches… they were the only saving grace… most gifted me with cups and saucers and night lamps and what not…. so many just gave us flowers… yelch… !!!!! What a waste… show me the money honey… !!!

 

I had hopes I would get gifts…. I had hopes I would get dowry …. after all I was the boy !!!!!!!   However as they say truth is stranger than fiction…

 

At the end of the entire wedding what I received was 2 pairs of clothes from my In-laws, (they were gifting a suit I didnt take as i wouldnt wear so they gifted two pairs) one Gold Chain and would you believe it… one Godrej Storewell Cupboard… and inspite of me saying no zillion times they would gift their daughter with a cupboard… !!!!

 

So you tell me what kind of dowry is this ???   2 pairs of clothes, 1 chain that i dont wear and 1 Cupboard ???? :(

 

I told her so many times… tell your dad if he wants to give something give me his car… why the heck is he hell bent upon giving me a goddamn cupboard ????

 

Now Sol’s …. she was 48 kgs when i married her… and she is a lot more now… !!!! Cant mention the weight exactly coz she will make me sleep outside the house… :oops:

 

You know an amazing thing was captured by our photographer…. after the bidaai… where everyone was crying and we left… the photo grapher kept shooting and he shot my wife’s brother and dad both laughing…. almost immediately after we had left…  !!!!!!!!!!!

(were they all pretending ????? OMG )

 

Whether it was some joke or were they laughing on me…. sigh…. I will never know…. !!!!! :(

 

 

Maybe they were thinking on the lines….    “Yeh to khud hi aa ke le gaya… humko to dhoondna bhi nahi pada… huh ??”

213 Comments leave one →
  1. June 18, 2009 3:23 pm

    Am I first?

    Yes your hard work finally paid off !! :P :P

  2. June 18, 2009 3:24 pm

    ok, since that is taken care off – will now read ;)

  3. June 18, 2009 3:29 pm

    ‘she says Dad we are like HDFC slow and steady but always growing… ( HDFC = Hetal Dhiren Fabulous Couple) ‘ – Lol!! That was good thinking :)

    It was the only good thinking i guess… !!

    ‘off to her house and in total hero style that day… went and told her dad… We both love each other and have decided to spend our lives together… !!! We seek your permission… !! Here I was in a jeans and t-shirt, unshaven but with lots of gusto…’ Oh my god!!! You had some guts!!!

    lol! at all the Kharcha that you guys saved :) Even the nose ring ka kharcha :)

    Imagine… the poor me cudnt save any kharcha… and that senior man got all the kharcha saved…

    rofl at ‘Maybe they were thinking on the lines…. “Yeh to khud hi aa ke le gaya… humko to dhoondna bhi nahi pada… huh ??”’!!

    I have a sneaking suspicion they were laughing that this idiot has take our “bala” away…

  4. June 18, 2009 3:31 pm

    That was hilarious, Dhiren, Poor you – all your hopes of gifts dashed to the ground :) I remember when one of my colleagues got back after his wedding he suddenly started sporting lots of gold chains and we used to tease the life out of him ki he came back after looting his FIL :)

    Wish I would have got something like that…. I so so badly used to think of gifts galore…. !!! and so many goodies to get… !!! phew…

  5. June 18, 2009 3:40 pm

    ha ha ha :)
    ‘HDFC’ -this is hilarious!! :) :D

    Sad na..no dowry at all….really sad!!! Why don’t you try asking him now ;) Might just work!!

    Now ??? I m sure he will tell me “GOODS ONCE SOLD WILL NOT BE TAKEN BACK !!! “

    • June 18, 2009 4:20 pm

      LOL at ur reply.. wit till your wife sees this

      • June 18, 2009 4:28 pm

        at times the fact that she doesnt read my blog… is a blessing… aint it ;)

        • June 18, 2009 4:38 pm

          typo..i meant wait till ur wife reads/sees this..
          dint u tell once that you wife has been asking u if thr is anything funn to read in blogs? She should get bored and visit your blog once and read this..

  6. June 18, 2009 3:47 pm

    Hahaha, Hilarious post.
    The laughter at bidai,,, oh my god, it so reminds me of my own wedding, my cousin who was acting the part of a brother pushed the car (symbolically) and laughed out loud. And the next time I saw him, i pulled him up for it, tera bill aata tha kya jab main maa ke ghar mein rehti thi, ke tu hasa?
    haha,
    loved your dowry post….

    YOU TOO…. what a relief for your dad too you got married… !!! lol…. poor husbands,,,,

  7. June 18, 2009 3:47 pm

    Hilarious!

    Laughing at my plight is hillarious ??

  8. June 18, 2009 3:49 pm

    Wow Wow Wow! This was a superb post!

    Hey finally added you to my blog roll… so will be visiting regularly and commenting too… btw this was a sad post… not a superb post… :(

    • June 18, 2009 4:07 pm

      Oh thanku thanku. And I take back my words.

      What a sad post :( Y dont u pass on the gold chain? U may feel bad whenever u see it and remember u dint get anything else :P
      Recession u c ;)

      • June 18, 2009 4:29 pm

        That gold chain is also used by my wife only… !!! I wish I could sell it and buy a new camera… what say ??

        • June 18, 2009 4:48 pm

          Sell the gold?? Shame on you!!! And that too to buy a camera???? Only a man can think like this :)

          • June 18, 2009 5:02 pm

            well that chain was mine… so i might as well spend it like i want … !!

        • June 18, 2009 5:07 pm

          Assure me she doesn’t read this; then I will say Yes :P

  9. June 18, 2009 4:23 pm

    LOL.. that was very hilarious Dhiren.
    every line of it was fun reading. especially HDFC :D
    you wife’s father and brother laughing after marriage..and your guesses on it were highlight…

  10. June 18, 2009 4:31 pm

    this was hilariously funny……i just cant keep myself on d couch…

    • June 18, 2009 4:46 pm

      Lol… dont… keep yourself on the floor… !!! lol…

      btw welcome to my blog !! :D

  11. June 18, 2009 4:39 pm

    HDFC – LOL!!!

    So, where did the fabulous couple go for their fabulous honeymoon?

    My husband didn’t even get a cupboard…He got a watch and 2 shirts (which btw he didn’t like)!!!

    • June 18, 2009 4:48 pm

      Nainital !! and Jim Corbett !!! in December and it was brrrrrrrr…. !! but did we enjoy… !!!!!! aaah… dont remind me of those days…

      Seee…. your husband tooo… and on one hand we talk of Naari atyachar… Actually we all husbands should be making an association about Pati Atyachar… (taking a cue from reverse racism ;) )

      • June 18, 2009 4:49 pm

        with you on this …..:-))

      • June 18, 2009 4:50 pm

        Ya – my husband will join you too :) He says the same – no dowry and a suit which he did never wear :(

        He got a ring – which he does not wear.. Maybe I should think of changing it into jewellary for me :)

        • June 18, 2009 4:51 pm

          4th Pati… the count is increasing fast… !!!

          geezz… this patni wants to get jewellery made from teh only ring her husband got… !!! talk of greedy wives… !!

          • June 18, 2009 5:12 pm

            lol same hubby also got a chain,ring and 1 pair of dress that’s all.
            He never took me to honeymoon as he left to dubai one week after the marriage

            • June 18, 2009 5:14 pm

              now now… I had to decided even if i dont marry I will have a honeymoon !!! :P :P :P

        • June 18, 2009 5:13 pm

          lol smitha i changed it long back :)

      • Swaram permalink
        June 18, 2009 5:52 pm

        Task @ hand for Swaram – See to it that hubby does not lay his hands on this post :P

        • June 18, 2009 5:54 pm

          lol… swaram… let us patis have an innocent get to gether..

          • Swaram permalink
            June 19, 2009 11:43 am

            Does it figure in the Pati dictionary – I.N.N.O.C.E.N.T?

  12. June 18, 2009 4:48 pm

    What a post…Dhiren….fantastically written….
    You are named DTG now on “Dhiren The Gutso”….
    Who says hindi movies far from reality…..:-)

  13. Thoorika permalink
    June 18, 2009 4:50 pm

    All well that ends well!!! Honeymoon ke liya kaha gaye?! :D

    • June 18, 2009 4:52 pm

      Ends well ??? where ???

      honeymoon… aah.. Nainital and Corbett… in December !!!

      • June 18, 2009 4:57 pm

        Nanital and Corbett in December …nothing better than this after what all you gone through…from guts shown on the day 1 to smiling in laws :-)..You needed something to relax on a chilled hill station….

  14. June 18, 2009 4:59 pm

    @ HDFC …lol :) ….nice dhiren,U have to thank god for such a wonderful girlfriend\wife,who stand with u in that situation.Wish my ex girl friend was also like her…. anyways no regrets now :)
    between @ ‘wife’s brother and dad ….’ —U didn’t ask them abt it yet ?

    • June 18, 2009 5:03 pm

      Do you think if I ask them they will tell me the truth ??

      • June 18, 2009 5:13 pm

        I will again appreciate your spirit …You are thinking of asking them…
        Why Dhiren. one or two days fine ..why you want to stay away in a “tent”house outside your house forever…. :-)

        • June 18, 2009 5:14 pm

          not enough space to pitch a tent… will have to sleep on the stairs… !!! :lol:

  15. June 18, 2009 5:16 pm

    HDFC is hilarious dhiren….i’m rolling on the floor….trust me!!!!! dat was some dowry btw!!!!! now dat i’m engaged, i better start thinkin on these lines tooo….ha ha hs

    • June 18, 2009 5:18 pm

      First of all where have you been !!! you gotta explain why have you been missing since so many posts !! huh ???

      and what you got engaged ??? you never told us ??? Congrats…!!!!!!

      another ullu fas gaya… bechara…

      • June 18, 2009 5:58 pm

        i wrote a post on my engagement dhiren….you did not read it….sob sob…no comments…..sooobbb sooobbb

        • June 18, 2009 6:15 pm

          I was fearing this… !!

          oh no…

          hey your template doesnt load… !!! sigh.. :(

          ulta chor kotwal ko daate…

  16. June 18, 2009 5:21 pm

    Enjoyed reading it,smiling at HDFC,

    Even i wanted a civil marriage without any expenditure,i told my mom what ever money u r going to spend on the marriage buy gold for me ;) but she didnt listen,she wanted to spend so much and poor my hubby he didnt take dowry not even a Godrej Storewell Cupboard :( (just kidding)

    Hey Bhagwaan you wanted gold instead !!!! I wanted a honeymoon for a month…

    Maybe ur f-law and b-law were smiling that their daughter got a caring and loving husband,doesn’t matter how much he earns :)

    Are you so gullible… they were surely laughing at me… I m not giving them the benefit of the doubt…

  17. June 18, 2009 5:28 pm

    Great story . Maan gaye ustad . And inspiring as well as I am still single . :)

    • June 18, 2009 5:29 pm

      Before you become double… get the deal straight man.. !! Car ya holiday in Zaire… uske bina shaadi nahi… !!!

  18. June 18, 2009 5:33 pm

    LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL !!!! two shirts, a cupboard and a chain ???? Poor you !! and lucky them !!! im sure that was a conspiracy and your wife was also a part of it !!! :D :D :D

    Damn those feminists and social reformers, dowry was some way to easy money !!! :D :D

    • June 18, 2009 5:37 pm

      absolutely… !!

      I really wanted my FIL’s car…. it would have been a nice gift.. !

      • June 18, 2009 5:39 pm

        who cares if people think of us as shameless ones? Hell, its money !!! :D

        • June 18, 2009 5:41 pm

          its better than money its a car !!!!!!!!!!!!!! :P :P

          • June 18, 2009 9:28 pm

            Dhiren!! Why stop at car – ask for a flat :) Just wait – by the time Hriday grows up – dowry would have reversed – men would have to give dowry to get married :)

        • June 18, 2009 9:27 pm

          Shameles! Shameless!!!! Vimmuuu – I am sure you don’t even have dowry in your part of the world – traditionally!!!!!

          • June 19, 2009 12:34 am

            Yeah traditionally, its not! But fundamentally, its the best thing that can happen to the male community !! Its time someone voiced their opinion on this ;) Dowry would be the only thing that I can take back home after marriage as a good memory (apart from the solo snaps I take) !!

            • June 19, 2009 3:12 pm

              :lol: We should just show this comment and any woman who is crazy enough to agree to marry you – will run the other way :)

              • June 19, 2009 3:15 pm

                ROtFLOL ROTFLMFAO !!!!!!!!

                at solo snaps and dowry will be the only things you take home… !!!!!

          • June 19, 2009 10:21 am

            Traditionally…

            well reminds me of a story… my boss was a Mallu and a MSC Microbilogist… and he got Rs. 2 Lacs… he said had he done engineering they would have bought him for 4 lacs… !!!!!!

            I was like… hey boss… what for a B.com… and he said maybe 50K !!! and i was like :cry: damn i should have studied…

            • June 19, 2009 11:18 am

              lol.. at 50k for a b.com :D

            • June 19, 2009 3:16 pm

              :lol: In my part of Kerala – we don’t have the concept of dowry – any family who asks for dowry is black listed :)

            • Swaram permalink
              June 19, 2009 5:40 pm

              LOL :)) Yeah! I have heard that here too. My colleagues have been gng on foreign trips only to increase their price. ‘Foreign Returned’ tag fetches them more.
              What a stupid practice :grrrrrrrr

              • June 19, 2009 6:01 pm

                lol…. chilll chill… !!!!

                now I know… I didnt go abroad either… hence my price… !!! :P :P

                • Swaram permalink
                  June 19, 2009 6:19 pm

                  But seriously! This is so funny – am reading the post again n again ;)

  19. June 18, 2009 5:37 pm

    Buddy, you should pose yourself as a theif and steal all those jewellery from your home. Sell them later boy, sell them !! What are these women going to do with all these jewellery anyway? when will they realise its money thats hanging and dangling on them ;)

    • June 18, 2009 5:39 pm

      well well… they are very smart…

      they have it all in the locker… My Mom and wife are operators of the account… dude i dont even feature in the account holders list… :(

      you arent married rite… you know nothing of conspirating females… within weeks my Mom was on her side… !!!!!!!! :cry:

      Beware… dude..

      • June 18, 2009 5:42 pm

        Ha Ha Ha good pair of m-law and d-law

      • June 18, 2009 5:47 pm

        No wonder they say this is the Kalyug !!! MILs and DILs hand in hand !!! Arent they watching any of those TV serials??? Dude, Im scared now !

      • Swaram permalink
        June 18, 2009 5:56 pm

        She has the MIL on her side? Can I call her for advice :P

        • June 18, 2009 6:15 pm

          no no… I dont think you have to call her… get your MIL to call my Mom… !! :P :P

    • June 19, 2009 12:29 am

      MIL and DIL on one side??? omg vimmuuu’s going to have all the more reasons not to get married! :D dhiren u’ll give him nightmares….!

      • June 19, 2009 10:21 am

        Rightly so…. I am being a true friend and making him aware of the bare facts… !!

  20. June 18, 2009 5:50 pm

    Ha ha… @ HDFC

  21. June 18, 2009 6:11 pm

    Nice nice! I love the name Hetal(it is so Gujarati!)

    We got so many wall clocks, tea sets, lamps at our wedding! They are still lying in my inlaws and my parents’ house!!!

    • June 18, 2009 6:16 pm

      If they are taking up too much space.. shall i give you my address… you can send them over… !! :P :P

  22. June 18, 2009 6:27 pm

    Hmmm… nice read this was .. and about dowry?? dunno.. m not getting married in near future .. although i keep forcing my mom to give em some money now instead of saving it for my wedding ( only she can have the list of things she is saving for!! and making my dad save too ;) )

    ps: plz check http://creatingnewblog.blogspot.com/2009/06/red-carpet-awards-for-all.html

  23. June 18, 2009 8:06 pm

    ROFL ROFL!!!!!!!!!! classic dude… reminds me of what my frd had to go thru….. on similar lines….. classic post…..

  24. June 18, 2009 8:32 pm

    gowry and dowry..what a hilarious post…

    HW : :D

  25. June 18, 2009 9:26 pm

    Beautiful story! Still smiling…

    HW : :) :)

  26. June 18, 2009 10:23 pm

    Aww poor you! but then you got the best gift of all! A wife who loves you ! Isnt that wonderful?

  27. June 18, 2009 10:56 pm

    Dhiren, thoroughly enjoyed your post :) HDFC now means something new. :P

    HW : The bank was boring… I just made it a lil more interesting.. ! :P

  28. June 18, 2009 11:02 pm

    ROFL!!HDFC??
    some smart thinking that!!! I have to say :D

    Aakhir Biwi kiski hai ????

    Even when we went to get my wedding card printed I was seriously telling my mom to write that dont come without gifts to the wedding….. but sanity prevailed…
    you crazy dude! :D

    I LOVE the kind of marriage system/traditions in that part of India Dhiren..who really nice!!it should be like this everywehre..

    this whole dowry evil everywhere else is so disgusting! :(

    LOL!!poor pandit!! :D
    I like the sound of an arya samaj wedding more and more :)

    Does it matter what kind of ritual is followed… I m sure our wedding happened in its own unique style in the end… no one ritual was carried out properly and everyone was confused… completely… though it wasnt bothering us much… we just wanted to get it over and done with… interesting things awaited… ;) ;)

    A friend of mine was talking about it too :)

    ROFL!!@your obsession with gifts Dhiren!! :lol:

    and with such absolute *shameless * honesty you have written about it too :mrgreen:

    SHAMELESS ??? ok so if you get any gifts for your wedding… are you couriering them to me ?????

    but seriously this is so hilarious to read :D

    only YOU can write like this :D

    2 pairs of clothes, 1 chain that i dont wear and 1 Cupboard ???? :(

    ROFL!! your woeful voice that I could just about hear in there is making me laugh like a lunatic :D

    LOL@gift me his car :lol:

    I wasnt demanding a new one… the second hand one would have done… is it too much to ask ?? :D :mrgreen:

    I am laughing like a lunatic Dhiren!!
    you crazy guy!!you are the humour king! :D

    Cant mention the weight exactly coz she will make me sleep outside the house
    ah!! a SMART smart woman! :D

    You know an amazing thing was captured by our photographer…. after the bidaai… where everyone was crying and we left… the photo grapher kept shooting and he shot my wife’s brother and dad both laughing…. almost immediately after we had left… !!!!!!!!!!!

    (were they all pretending ????? OMG )

    “Yeh to khud hi aa ke le gaya… humko to dhoondna bhi nahi pada… huh ??”

    ROFL!!!
    Dhiren this is the MOST hilarious post of yours till now!! :D

    I LOVED IT! LOVED it :D

    Laugh all you want…. poor me…

    too bad this wasn’t fiction :mrgreen:
    Poor you :D

    I am still laughing over the fact that they were laughing! :lol:

    Hilarious!! :D

    • June 19, 2009 12:36 am

      I second Indyeah. This is the MOST hilarious post from you. Haven’t laughed liked this in ages. I added into my favorites and going to make every guy read it. You will get plenty of support.

    • June 19, 2009 10:13 am

      I second Indeyaeah and third Solio and agree to you by all means Dhiren

  29. June 19, 2009 12:29 am

    oh… love marriage mein yahi lafda hai.. in ur case, both parents didnt know which way the marriage should be. in most cases, it is exactly the opposite..

    this was FUNNY.. only one tuch u forgot to add.. didnt ur mother say “nalayak! tune khud hi dhoondh li? Ab main dahej kaise maangoogi?”

    and dont worry,just like she got Stridhan, u can always say that u got “purush dhan” and sell that chain for the camera.. wait, isnt playstation 2 a better thing?

    • June 19, 2009 10:36 am

      There was a unique problem… both sides were trying to go over and try and do the wedding in the other peoples way… not that any one was very rigid about this has to be done etc… and hence the confusion… though it didnt matter…

      Purush dhan !!

      wait till my wife hears it…. Playstation 2 is old… its time for Nintendo WII !!

  30. June 19, 2009 12:30 am

    LOL!!! I loved that HDFC abbreviation! :D I have an a/c with that bank…but now whenever I go there I’ll remember this only! :P

    cheap wedding, lavish honeymoon… I like ur thot process!! :D :D and LOL @ that poor pundit of urs!!

    omg ROFL!!! i was tentative when i first started on this topic but when i got to this part “2 pairs of clothes, 1 chain that i dont wear and 1 Cupboard ???? :( ” my sympathies are with u!!!

    ROTFLMAO @ the last quote!!!! hahaha….! too good!
    I so wish I had access to your wife’s phone number or email… I’d love to make her see this!!! *evil grin*

    • June 19, 2009 10:38 am

      I worked for that bank toooo !!!!! lol….

      That pandit was so pissed off… at one point he even got up and told my friends to stop and taht he is “not a beggar” wonder where that line came from… I was afraid he would leave the wedding in the middle and go away… !!!!

      This is one post I m hoping to hide from her… !!! touchy issue this… !!! and i dont want to sleep on the stairs…. :mrgreen:

  31. June 19, 2009 12:34 am

    Hitchy, yaar I missed this last night because I was sleepy. Now read this twice and laughed out loud many times.

    This is HOWLARIOUS. HDFC?! Hope Hetal is not reading this. Is she?

    I think they were laughing at you in the end. Ha..ha..ha..ha..ha..

    Hmm…you chose a damn cold place for honeymoon. Ahem…ahem… Chalo kuch acha to nikla iss shaadi tale se.

    • June 19, 2009 10:39 am

      No way… I m not getting her to read this no way…. !!!

      The damn cold place had its own benefits… ;)

      some day i will post on it tooo… who knows… !!! lol…

      • Solilo permalink
        June 19, 2009 11:56 am

        Honeymoon bhi? Arre yaar apni shaadi ka koi hissa to secret rakho. Poor Hetal! :lol: :lol:

  32. June 19, 2009 12:36 am

    Maybe they were thinking on the lines…. “Yeh to khud hi aa ke le gaya… humko to dhoondna bhi nahi pada… huh ??”

    Everytime I read these lines, I burst into laughter. :lol: :lol: :lol:

    Hitchy, are you the funny man in your family?

    • June 19, 2009 10:43 am

      Yes I try to be the funny man but on this occassion… not by choice Sol’s !! Circumstances…. :(

  33. craftyshines permalink
    June 19, 2009 2:41 am

    HDFC! Who came up with that?? That is simply brilliant!!!!! :D :D

    Hetal who else has that creative brain in my house ?? as if you dont know !!

    “Here I was in a jeans and t-shirt, unshaven but with lots of gusto…”
    Am mixed up with Awwwwwwwww n lol!!!!

    Ah, see the hush hush wedding is good plan! Me to be wanting same!!! Wish me luck at least me gets it that way!!! :D

    The kharcha has its own fun… I still havent written about the night before the wedding one we had Garba at my house… and it was one of the most joyous days in my life… that night was a riot… but that will be a separate post in itself…

    “I was seriously telling my mom to write that dont come without gifts to the wedding….. but sanity prevailed…”

    *crafty falls drops off chair, coz she needs more space to roll about while laughing*

    “Fortunately for my FIL my wife doesnt have a nose pierced… so that kharcha of his was also saved…”

    Hitchy, were u always this funny????? Seriously?? OMG! I am stifling my laugh coz its waaay past midnight n I better not be heard……

    Whats funny in this ?? that he is being saved all the kharcha and I being made to spend by pants off ???

    Bechara pandit!!!! Trying to concentrate when flowers are being pelted on him!! :P

    *crafty makes note to self* no flowers, photo frame, cups, saucers…..instead…be a honey n show hitchy the money :P

    Godrej Storewell Cupboard?? That is ultra cute! Me loved! Sigh! I think I want a cupboard! My parents got one too as a gift! Me no agrees with hitchy on this one. Cupboard get thumbs up!!! :D

    Cupboard be baith ke office jaoo kya ?? ke Cupboard pehen ke ghoomne jaoo kya ??? what thumbs up !! ??

    On last words:
    ROFLMAO!!!!!!

    Hitchu, its 2:30am

    i am laughing. loudly. i think i’m gonna carry a print out of this post in my bag…as antidepressant….

    Now that is a compliment… the only one I got… all others kept laughing at my plight…

    • craftyshines permalink
      June 20, 2009 12:50 am

      ROFL on that cupboard argument!!!! hahahahah!!!
      ok ok, so hitchy wud rather have the car :P

      but tell me….can u store clothes n jewellery n so many more things in a car????????
      :P

      u know what i like most about Godrej Storewell Cupboard? that chotu lil almost secret compartment, like a hidden storage, inside the safe!!!

      *crafty buzzes off while hitchy looks around for something to throw on crafty*

  34. craftyshines permalink
    June 19, 2009 2:44 am

    what luck i decided to catch up on posts i missed!!!!

    *crafty retires to bed smiling*

  35. craftyshines permalink
    June 19, 2009 2:47 am

    BTW! HDFC Bank is a client i write for!

    and the next time i’m gonna get a job to do for them….

    tee hee hee……:D :D

    • June 19, 2009 10:54 am

      ha ha ha…

      I worked for them tooo… long back !! :D

      • craftyshines permalink
        June 20, 2009 12:35 am

        really???????????

        bet ur HDFC is more fun than the bank!!! tee hee!! :D

  36. June 19, 2009 7:51 am

    ( HDFC = Hetal Dhiren Fabulous Couple) – so cute! Lovely, fun read! :)

  37. June 19, 2009 8:48 am

    LOL. That reminds me of my whole wedding and honeymoon. We spent it in Hawaii with my mother-in-law. As bad as that sounds it was still pretty awesome. We got mostly gifts that we couldn’t use on the honeymoon but that is OK.

    • June 19, 2009 11:02 am

      Hawaii !!! sounds…. great !!

      with our mother in law… !! lol… ;)

      I am sure you loved the extra attention… !!!

      just kidding.. i m sure it would have been fun… !!! lol

  38. June 19, 2009 9:49 am

    man i never thought reading a subject like dowry can be so hillarious. and your frank manner, of not leaving anyone, it sure deserves mention.

    btw u still hav time to demand ur share of dowry man. now that ur wife is on ur side, ask the FIL to giv wtever he saved in the marriage. ur wife will kill me for giving that suggestion to u.

  39. June 19, 2009 10:15 am

    Isn’t dowry also decided as per the educational qualification??? ;)

    • June 19, 2009 10:53 am

      are you here to rub salt in the wounds ??

    • Solilo permalink
      June 19, 2009 11:54 am

      Ha..ha..ha..ha.. Masood. *Solilo zips her mouth*

    • June 19, 2009 3:08 pm

      Yes, Masood and sometimes also based on the FIL’s qualifications :) We knew of families where the sons were good for nothings – but their dads were in good positions – so they managed to get HUGE dowries!!!

      • June 19, 2009 3:11 pm

        Now how sensible it would have been for me to find such a FIL !!!!! that would have done nicely… !! :P :P :P

        • June 20, 2009 2:00 pm

          what qualifications!!! Going by that a CA was supposed to be filthy rich after marriage innit??? :(

          • June 20, 2009 2:19 pm

            You got a really raw deal Rakesh… really raw deal… you gotta demand… rite away… dude… wake up !!!!!

  40. June 19, 2009 10:18 am

    I did a post on dowry a few months back but that was a serious post. A friend was asked for Rs 15L dowry and a car!!!! It was outrageous. I was so pissed when I heard. And proud later. Coz my friend outrightly said NO. Even though her parents were OK with it. Here was a girl who stood up for herself not just in petty silly matters but for a life altering decision.

  41. June 19, 2009 1:03 pm

    WoW Dhiren! I don’t know what to say. I’m in shock on what they gave you. I know I can’t sat this BUT it’s not even a proper gift. I agree with you, they should have gifted you a car and an flat. And your FIL was “richer” than you.

    you do ?? really… ?? wow…

    The other wedding gifts just make me laugh. You got things for the house. :lol: No wonder you we happy when you got a few his & her watches. ;-)

    Sorry dear. I’ll have to come back. I’m still in shock hearing you got a cupboard. 8-O

    shocking ?? its very usual in India… !! Cupboards are given to almost all girls… !!! to keep her stuff… she brings from her dad’s and the gifts she gets from my side… the cupboard is given to keep the hands of the husbands off it… !!!

  42. zinggy_mum permalink
    June 19, 2009 4:25 pm

    hey dhiren.
    i am still smiling.its almost 20 mins past reading this (what should i call it?) article. u never once thought that her father would throw u out?…now whenever one reads or sees HDFC one will think about u. (u made sure of that…did’nt u?…hahahhaa)good that she did not sell the chain to give u money to buy shares…shukar karo hetal to mili dowry mein car nahin mila to kya hua? dowry is an serious issue but u have made it sound so very funny n interesting to read ur side of the story….well well well alls well that ends well!

    • June 19, 2009 4:37 pm

      Well ?? even a well in dowry would have done… In indore there is a huge water crisis… really !!!!

      lol….

      I know dowry is a serious issue… but i have a problem that it was not at all a issue at my wedding… lol…. :D

  43. zinggy_mum permalink
    June 19, 2009 5:12 pm

    don’t worry dhiren,
    once hetal ka bussiness chal pada then she will buy u all that u have missed….lol! patni seva ka kuch to phal milna chaiye na tumhe….

  44. Deeps permalink
    June 19, 2009 6:41 pm

    Hilarious!So you didnt have a joota-chupaai custom?? Just plain curious,hence asked.

    That was sad how all your hopes of getting a dowry was quashed! Never mind,marry Hetal again and this time demand for a fairer deal…howzzat for an idea :D :D

    • June 19, 2009 6:47 pm

      Joota Chupai…

      my Saala was 4 years younger… and my Friends were the size of Gorilla’s…. !!! no one dare do that…. he he he… being classmates all girls were on her side and all guys on my side… so Man Power didnt let the joote’s go… !!!! and I was not interested in any more kharcha…!!!! aint that evident… lol…

  45. June 19, 2009 9:58 pm

    LOL!!!! :D

    the comments are equally funny!!

    The way we blog samaj vasi’s liven up things is unbelievable Pixie… !!! WE all truly rock and without all of us days at office would be really really dull !!!!!!!!!

    You got a chain at least! My husband got a suit he has worn only a couple of times, and a couple of shirts!!! :D :D
    And no, he didn’t get a cupboard either!

    Cupboard ka kya aachar dalna hai…. good thing… I was thinking of asking him for a rent for keeping the damn cupboard in my house… !!!

    He says he sympathizes with you on this as well!!! :D :D :P
    And he understands exactly what you are talking about!

    (These words are his and not mine! The man is busy watching cricket!)

    India out… I almost feel drained… !!!! :( dont remind me of cricket… btw that Dilshan… played well didnt he… ??

    • June 21, 2009 8:18 am

      yea… he did. damn.
      I wanted WI to win… but 3 wickets for 1 run, is just too much to recover from.
      i feel bad for Chris. He is an awesome cricketer who got no support from his team.

  46. Pal permalink
    June 20, 2009 12:16 am

    OMG. My first visit here and I am not yet done with laughing!!

    Welcome welcome… but you didnt leave your link… !!

    Selling jewellery to invest in shares? Yewww! That poor wife of yours…bringing no kharcha at all and taking so much crap. She deserves an award!

    She deserves and award ??? you are a female arent you ??

    About your FIL and BIL laughing…that was a really good one…you got us all laughing at that :-)

    Keep writing! Will be back for more and more.

    Thank u Thank u

  47. June 20, 2009 10:49 am

    I love that you support India Helps. Though I have never been, India seems like a beautiful land full of heritage, love and family commitment. India’s people are kind, caring and a devout people. I think it is great that through your blog, you help bring to light the needs of such a great place.

    Frankly havent done anything for it apart from putting their logo and diverting a few people there…
    India is a beautiful landscape… jst visit our photoblog http://amateurclicker.blogspot.com you will love it… the people are also all kinds… some are really great and warm… but we have our rotten apples too… like everywhere… !!!!!

  48. June 20, 2009 12:51 pm

    when you said i dont come to your blog, i took it personally :P

    coz i do come here. i read. i laugh. i enjoy. after reading the post and comments, i feel you guys are far ahead already.. by the time i come here, all those nice and non-nice kind of things have been said and counter attacked already… :(

    tara nods and smiles at everything and leaves silently… thinking it looks boring to leave “nice, hilarious, how sweet” kinda comments on posts after post..

    but that doesnt mean ur blog is anything short of a therapy – thahaka therapy.. I love the humour in ur posts and the drama plus action in the comment space.

    kudos!!!
    peace :D

    hoping the gila shikwa is no more now :P

    • June 20, 2009 2:12 pm

      How can one know if a person came to the blog unless he/she leaves a few comments ?? huh ??

      Learn to over attack… lol… dont i over do things all the time… you need tutions… badly from me.. !!! :P :P no no… dont worry… this is one thing i will give you free… !!!!!!!

      No gila shikwa… come comment and interact… straight and simple… !!!

      and for us stars… each fan is as valuable as any….

      he he he :mrgreen: ** ducks the chuppal ** lol :D

  49. June 20, 2009 1:03 pm

    and regarding dowry, there was a funny situation for our wedding too.. dad wanted to give but me and amit dint want to take any of those materialistic things :D i achieved a win win by convincing him to put the money in my ac if he is so adamant… and he still gave the customary few gifts to his damaad, some that he never uses, some he loves.. n since we did our wedding shopping together (he n me) he got to select those things so he cant complain :)

    Do you want my account number… I can understand you not wanting it but Amit toooo ??? kaisa aadmi hai… you have to confess he is a nice husband.. he hasnt left you any choices… has he… !!!! :P

    his gold chain, he has already given me to do whatever i want to do with it.. nice husband i confess :P

    & you know even ur posts and commenting on them is addictive.. no one can just comment once!! i write one. then u recall of another thing u wrote. then u write another. something is missed out while commenting again and u comment again.. ur posts are so packed!! u must be awarded for it!!

    In rupees or dinars ?? or what is Dubai’s currency ???? huh ?? :mrgreen:

    tara goes off hoping she will not come back in a min to comment again on the BIL n FIL laugh or the HDFC bonds and the likes :D

    Waiting lol :P :P :P

  50. June 20, 2009 1:57 pm

    ha ha ha! rotfl coz. I see so much of my story in this…

    FIL – Very Rich. I just started my life and was getting somewhere…

    All expectations of Dowry vanished since all I my wife got was gold, diamond and clothes. No cash, nothing. All I got was chain, ring, clothes, and some more stuff.

    Exactly…. would you believe my Mom gifted her diamond earrings gold jewellery and what not… also made me buy some gold for her… !!!! but I didnt even get a single gift for myself… no camera.. no video game no cash.. no dvd’s no nothing…

    Wedding bill was huge keeping in mind my FIL’s reputation :( Honeymoon had to be lavish if I married someone of that status… Add to that my wife’s expensive tastes and habits developed by her dad…

    Oh dear that sounds bad… !!!

    And then after the wedding whenever people ask me, Jalsa – Full dowry mila hoga???

    I tell them, Haathi to le liya, palna bhari pad raha hai :D

    Haathi… !!! beta biwi ne yeh padh liya… to jo kuch bacha hai… woh bhi alimony mein chala jaayenga… !!!! :D

  51. June 20, 2009 2:22 pm

    ha ha ha ha ha. i am really laughing here. The ‘HDFC’ thing was so ingenious. Nice one. Good you atleast got the gold chain, clothes and cupboard. Mine had to make do with nothing but just me, and my clothes, and life-long incurred expenditure to keep me happy. Trust me you had it a lot better.
    Loved this post.

    • June 20, 2009 2:42 pm

      Now Now… Goofy Mumma… you atleast made me feel something nice… this is a consolation… !!! and my sypathies… with your hubby… poor… he… lol ! ;)

  52. June 20, 2009 5:08 pm

    Congratsssss !!!! this post deserved the award !!!!! :D :D :D

  53. June 20, 2009 7:15 pm

    Badhai ho!
    Mithai khilao !

  54. June 21, 2009 5:49 pm

    Cummon! You can at least use the cupboard! :P
    And just to swipe away the ground beneath your feet, there is a guy in my office who got a dowry worth 65 lakhs+gold equivalent to his wife’s weight! :P

    • July 13, 2009 4:41 pm

      That guy is some lucky guy !!

      tell ya wat dowry should be banned…

      after hearing that … !! OMG !!

  55. June 21, 2009 7:54 pm

    This is such a sweet & typically u post :D

    U have already said that ur wife weighs more, I hope she reads this n throws u out :D

    And u know why girls get everything in marriage???

    Because it is they who have to leave their home & come into a completely new territory!!! :)

    • July 13, 2009 4:42 pm

      Sweet and Typically me !!!! Smita you are my new best friend !!!!!!!!

      you are a feminist to the core… arre baba this is all in fun and jest !!!!!

  56. sioneve permalink
    June 22, 2009 7:03 am

    Love your work.
    Hate dowries.
    My very disillusioned husband still waiting for 3 camels after 12 years marriage…But how to fit them in WASPy suburbia???
    Am adding you to my blogroll!

    • July 13, 2009 4:43 pm

      hey you didnt leave your url… !!

      3 camels !!!!!! thats interesting… !!!

  57. monikamanchanda permalink
    June 22, 2009 5:17 pm

    ha ha loved loved loved this post dhiren

    ha ha u can count N too here… he would happily join he got some shirts and a watch and a ring which he doesnt wear lol :)

    but whats with, u got us right ;-)

    and HDFC that was just too brilliant

    • July 13, 2009 4:44 pm

      yea we did get you !!

      and we raised 40 kg’s to become 60 !!

      thats what we got !!

  58. thethoughtfultrain permalink
    June 26, 2009 7:10 pm

    ROFL*10 !!! This deserved to be in the BlogAdda!! What a story and you greedy fellow… dreaming of dowry!! My hubby too asked for dowry … a basket of mangoes!! He still hasnt got it despite 5 years having passed since!!

    • June 26, 2009 7:12 pm

      Talk of mean biwi’s !!!!! not even a tokri of aam !!!!!!

      where is your Dad… I need to speak to him !!! this is bad… very mean !!

  59. thethoughtfultrain permalink
    June 26, 2009 11:39 pm

    You are so mean yourself!! I praise you and you call me mean?? ;-) Why should my Dad get it or him, he can mighty well get it from the market.. In the meantime I am still waiting for my diamonds. ;-)
    I am at http://thethoughtfultrain.wordpress.com/ There wasnt any provision for submitting URL.

  60. July 6, 2009 2:13 pm

    First time, I’m Visting and loved d blog..!!!
    Hillarious encounter on that dowry matter..!!! :P

    • July 13, 2009 4:47 pm

      Welcome Manisha… Hillarious is the wrong word… Tragic sounds more appropriate.. !!

  61. rishma permalink
    July 13, 2009 4:38 pm

    arre dhiren…i pity the plight of all married couples…even women have to suffer…with respect to your story i can say only that love is blind enough and it strikes u hard and only when u dont have any brains to think about post marriage consequences…well dont cry now! we all r there with u…

  62. October 23, 2009 3:14 am

    Ayyo phirsht time I am laughing mad after reading a dowry post. This is your funniest post I have ever read :shock: I have laughed at every single sentence miserably. Now I really feel for you…sobs!! You just got all that stupid stuff?? Well to make you better all I can say is mine didn’t get anything as we had a run away marriage and he was on the wanted list for months for trying to ape a bollywood hero :grin: in the end he says he ended up owning an All India Radio for the rest of his life :mrgreen:

    • October 23, 2009 10:38 am

      I do believe this and the Times of Fatherhood posts of mine were my best… !!!!

      Mine is pretty much a Radio channel… only its FM !!! :P :P :P

      sigh…

      your marriage seems straight out of Bollywood !!! i just read all that house arrest et all and he wanted… truly Filmy stuff.,.. have to meet your hero once. !!!!! :)

  63. November 24, 2009 7:10 pm

    Five Stars, Hitch! That was hilarious! Poor you :-)

  64. November 25, 2009 1:02 pm

    Maybe they were thinking on the lines…. “Yeh to khud hi aa ke le gaya… humko to dhoondna bhi nahi pada… huh ??”

    You know I have a sneaking suspicion that my samdhiji also felt this way – he wanted the wedding to be done within a month of saying yes to my son! Sigh! Talk about being had!

    Want to know your wifey’s reaction too! LOL

  65. November 25, 2009 6:13 pm

    Hilarious narration of a serious occasion! I am serious man! There is nothing serious thing in life than marriage! And I am sure your Sala and his Dad must be laughing at your plight! It’s obvious for you to realize this after some days after marriage! I am sailing in the same boat! :)

    Loved the read!

    • February 23, 2010 10:34 am

      he he he… !!!! mate you have my sympathy then !!!!! :D :D :D Welcome to the blog and marriage suffereing world dude !

  66. November 26, 2009 3:29 pm

    Amazingly hilarious!! HDFC…so very creative!! :)
    I guess, you are not alone, you have company in this case…my hubby too! :D

    • February 23, 2010 10:48 am

      welcome to my blog !!! :D guess a large number of hubbies have been cheated… :D :D

  67. November 28, 2009 8:26 am

    Pyar kiya na…..

    Ab Bhugto! lol

  68. November 30, 2009 11:14 am

    truly amazing. and it is certain that you will have all votes from men.

  69. December 6, 2009 5:17 pm

    Lovely post!! And of course, HDFC is brilliant! And what a brilliant thing it would be if all hopefuls hopes of dowry were to go as crashing as thing one!!

  70. December 16, 2009 12:28 pm

    Brilliant man.. :) Keep up the good work…. ;)

  71. December 17, 2009 1:00 pm

    Hi Hitch,

    To me it seems the cupboard was also meant for your wife. After all, she would would need some secure place to park all the jewellery gifted to her!

    Its a universal truth that no one remembers what a man wears, so 2 suits was quite generous of your in laws, I must say!

  72. December 24, 2009 3:33 pm

    LOL! Sorry but can’t help laughing at ur plight :0 the description was hilarious!

    I got married at my parents place, a small home town and left all the useless wedding gifts right there. I had a large number of trays and lemonade jars for some reason!

    • February 23, 2010 10:27 am

      lemonade jars.. !!!! lemme have them !!!!! I love lemonade !!!!!! :P :P wonder what the guests had in mind though !!!! probably preparing to visit you and wishing you serve lemonade !!!!!! :P lol…

  73. January 10, 2010 10:20 pm

    lol , you should have mentioned in the invite – “cash gifts!!”

  74. February 14, 2010 12:30 pm

    That was very funny reading.. Cracked up with the dowry you got……….

  75. February 23, 2010 10:14 am

    Dhiren…i laughed and laughed and laughed…..i like the little bit of satirical touch :). you’re a lucky man :D LOL

    • February 23, 2010 10:21 am

      you can call me lucky with the current post… but this one !!!!!!! :P :P :P

  76. February 23, 2010 12:01 pm

    Hitch !! This is an awesome post !!! I’ve read it many a times, but commenting only now !!!

    I laugh everytime I read it !!! Damn gud one !!!

    BTW, did u see the new titan watch ad ???? The bride and the groom sit among gifts and sort them all out – This is from my side, This is from my side and that time, he gifts her a watch and says this is from your side !! Absolutely adorable !!!

    • February 23, 2010 12:15 pm

      i HAVENT seen that ad… now I need to maybe…. !!!!!! glad you love this post Uma !!!

  77. March 6, 2010 4:33 pm

    :lol: :lol: am sitting in office, grinning widely at the screen and hoping that no one would pass by… else i will be considered a lunatic to be giving smiles to the monitor!!! :lol:

    Wht a post and what comments! Man, hitchy, you are too good! :) :)

    and hetal is better to put up with you :P :P

  78. priya permalink
    March 22, 2010 12:15 am

    Lovely post ! Especially for me, since I wasn’t aware of this side of the story :)
    Now i really need to verify the real reason of uncle’s n hiral’s laughter ! Poor Dhiren !

  79. August 22, 2010 6:32 pm

    man.. am still laughing while writing this comment… this one is hilarious..right from the start till the end..

    The best I read in recent times..

  80. Nitu permalink
    September 27, 2010 3:13 pm

    Hilarious to the core Dhiren!!! Weeeeeeeeeeeeellllll Done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  81. Nitu permalink
    September 27, 2010 3:15 pm

    Hilarious to the core Dhiren!!! Weeeeeeeeeeeeellllll Done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Laughed like hell

  82. February 14, 2011 3:30 pm

    Hahaha poor you. Tough luck!
    Hilarious post.

  83. May 28, 2011 2:59 pm

    Loved Hetal’s HDFC concept :)

    Here’s a Dowry Calculator, *Dedicated to all the match making aunties of India

    http://dowrycalculator.com/

    The results probably improve depending on your skin colour (‘Fairy White’ to ‘Wheatish (Almost white, would need some Fair n Lovely)’, your father’s profession, how many times you have been married before and of course where and how much you have studied.

    And here’s a random result:

    “Congratulations! Your current dowry rate is 1 Crore. Besides the cash amount, you are assured a lavish wedding, a land property (given you negotiate your price well), hefty and expensive jewelry, and even a foreign tour with your wife — all with your in-laws’ hard earned money. Hasn’t someone correctly said, “The best things in life are free”? Now, you can bask in the glory of your achievements. The day has arrived. All these years of hard work, and investment in education has finally paid off. You have made your parents proud. Bravo!”

  84. chitra permalink
    July 9, 2011 10:09 pm

    LOL!!LOL!!!LOL!!

    nice one hear my gadget speak

  85. August 29, 2012 9:12 am

    hahahaha! Amazingly funny..loved loved loved this one :)

    Please tell Hetal that I secretly admire her a LOT only for the HDFC comment :)

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