Everything has suddenly gone blank. The emotions are suddenly in control and I don’t know what is happening. The sensex has fallen badly all my shares are down in the dumps but somehow I don’t feel down. I don’t feel upset. My bonus is still not coming but I don’t feel anxious. Our work has gone down and we are looking at a very weak season this year, may be work may not be great this year it seems but I don’t feel worried. The finances are in the dumps but somehow there is hope everything will turn a corner.
There is optimism today this wasn’t there yesterday but there is TODAY. Why is the question I keep asking myself. How are things going to change even I don’t know. Where is this coming from?
Something has changed but I don’t know what. This is really funny because I think I should be a lot more worried but some how I am not. May be inside there is this feeling that I am going to get out of this safely and soundly. Perhaps more smarter and more wiser.
Life is all about perceptions I feel. When we want to look at the brighter side we can look at it that way and feel a lot more positive. But when we want to see only the downside nothing uplifting can lift us. No matter how much the adults or friends tell us that this is a passing phase you cannot quite control your emotions. We tend to ignore all and only see the side we actually want to see.
As the years roll by and as I see more and more things happen around me I feel that it is our own mind more than anything else that makes us see things. As each year passes by I feel I was so naïve about a couple of years ago and so much smarter now, but I know after two years I will again feel I was so naïve then.
When I was young I always thought I was very smart, that the adults don’t always know everything or the right things. Yes may be they don’t always know everything or all the right things but I do agree that they were largely right and largely knew more things better than us. Sometimes its difficult to explain but the knowledge is dawning on me now.
Myself being the elder of the three brothers have a real tough job when I see my younger brothers making a mistake or doing something that I feel and know is wrong. I have learnt that after making the mistake and no matter how much I try to get them to avoid making the mistake, they will only become more determined to make the mistake. Guess they will only be more experienced after the mistakes like I did. Strangely !!