THE TIMES OF FATHERHOOD

 

Being a father is a rather challenging job. At different stages there are different challenges, these days, my son is near his 5th birthday and has well and truly entered his question anything & everything phase and yes, question all the answers TOO ‘phase.

 

No matter what is happening, there always is a why ? When you reply there can be a WHERE ?, WHAT ?, HOW ? or a WHY again. When you are not able to reply again, or you don’t know there is again a WHY ? &  than when you refuse to answer you are told,

“Adha tamne to kai khabar nathi.” (dad you don’t know anything in Gujarati)

When you say Yes, I know nothing,

again,

WHY ?

and than

more questions ..

Didn’t you go to school ?

Didn’t you ask your dad questions ?

Didn’t your mom teach you ?

 

Impossible to beat him eh !

 

Than suddenly the attention will shift to lets do homework. This is one job that somehow I am blessed with, he writes his stuff very very neatly without stopping or pausing, even drawing keeps him occupied and he gets lost in it.

 

 However I am one father who never has any ambitions that my son would become a champ in his studies, I have hated studies all my life and I shall be more than happy if my son also dislikes studies. I don’t want him to come first in the class, ever. I think the first rankers are snobs and no arguments on this.

 

My inner wish is he become India’s fastest bowler ever, and he bounce each and every batsman of the opposing teams, injuring them and giving them the scare of their lives. I have had enough of opposing teams always bouncing our players and hitting them. (however the pitches these days scare me if taking up fast bowling is a wise option).

 

However so far I have not forced him to play cricket, it seems he doesn’t like it, coz when cricket comes he cannot watch his cartoons. This is one area where I and my son cant seem to agree. We fight over the remote, while he used to win always earlier, slowly but surely now he has started to allow me to watch cricket !

 

I at times am sure he will not become a cricketer as my Mom wanted me to study all her life and I never did, she wanted me to be a ranker but never after 5th grade I could manage being in the top 20. However whether he becomes a fast bowler (please son, India needs you) or a leg spinner is not in my hands but to fantasize about it is surely my right !!

 

However I sincerely hope he can be something that he will enjoy doing. Earn while doing something he loves & not something he loathes and I am sorry but it is beyond me how can a person enjoy stiching patients, or making audit reports, or fixing bugs in the computer or machinery or making presentations on excel sheets or by hosting dinners to sell cotton.

 

I am sure fun is in what Sachin, Veeru & Ishant do, in what Bryan Adams or Rehman do, in what Sonu Nigam or Kay Kay do, in what Zakir Hussain does, in what painters or photographers do. Surely fun is in jobs of Rajdeep Sardesai or that guy in the series Man v/s Wild on National Geographic. Surely Chetan Bhagat’s or Veer Sanghvi’s enjoy their work more than me, fun surely is in lives of travel writers, movie critics but it surely is not in offices where you reach after becoming a Doctor or CA or an Engineer.

 

God, I have a tendency of veering away from the subject. However, coming back to some of the few other challenges :

Son : Lets say ABC (alphabets)

Me : Ok, ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ (that’s easy we say it together)

Son : Adha, A says Apple. Me : rite. Son : B says Banana, C says Chikoo, D says… Adha, which fruit starts from D ??

Me : mmm Dry fruits !!

Son : That is not a fruit, there are so many dry fruits…

Me : Oh… who told you ?

Son : I know

Me : well D se…. (scratching my head) [ Wait dear son, so many people reading my blog, yes readers, will you tell me what fruit starts with a D and a E and a H and a Q and X and Y a Z please…. Urgently needed. ] I am at wits end. No dear readers, its not a for apple, b for ball, c for cat naah not so easy, its fruits starting from each alphabet… these new generation kids I tell you.. All we used to say as kids was  mango, orange, banana, papaya… we didnt even know kiwi fruits existed !  

 

You think a father’s life is easy, think again !!

 

& hey dont you think it ends with just fruits !

No no no…. its not just this…. You also have to name 5 animals/insects/birds with each alphabet. Fruits and vegetables starting with each alphabet.

 

Then ofcourse in between there is translation, wanna know what ???

 

 Ok

 

Son : Adha, What do you call a Hyena in gujarati ?

Me : Zarakh.

Son : Hindi ?

Me : Lakkadbagga.

Son : Kutchi ?

Me : Hriday, I don’t know. ( sometimes he takes, I don’t know as an answer )

Son : Adha what do we call a platypus in gujarati ?

Me : Platypus only, its not an animal found in Gujarat so it doesn’t have a gujarati name.

Son : Don’t just say anything, you don’t know anything.

Son : Adha, what do you call a Dinosaur in Gujarati ?

Me : Hriday, lets stop this, we will sing poems.

Geeee, my life is in an intelligence crisis. Dinosaur in Hindi anyone ?? Platypus in hindi anyone ?? There are more… Walrus, Dugong, Hedgehog ….

 

My parents were really smart to not introduce me to any other animals other than cat, dog, cow, goat, buffalo or lion, tiger, fox, cheetah, elephant… but those damn animal books me and my wife brought thinking of educating him…..

 

We forgot we weren’t qualified enough to get such books.

 

Than suddenly : Son : “Adha, when will we go to see Dinosaurs ?”

Me : Hriday, dinosaurs don’t exist, they all died years ago.

Son : Don’t lie.

Me : Really, one meteor came from the space on the earth and there was a big explosion and the atmosphere got very hot and they all died, now they don’t exist !

Son : waaaaaa….. sob sob…. I want to see Dinosaurs….. (weeping)

 

Boss is this a reason to cry ? Dinosaurs died years ago, what can I do ?? (no matter what, he has to see them he won’t stop wailing if you say the animal is dead.) I am going to kill this Steven Spielberg for making that silly Jurassic movie…. And the channels who keep showing that movie and all the dinosaur cartoons, the kid is obsessed with dinosaurs !!! I don’t know whats with this new generation kids and dinosaurs, can’t they be like us as kids just be happy with the puppy on the roadside or a cat ! If we saw a pet rabbit somewhere we would be as pleased as punch.

 

This new generation wants a T-rex as a pet !!!!!!! No matter what you tell him he will not stop, eventually ok ok, they exist in Africa and we will go to Africa and see them.

 

Son : When will we go to Africa ?

Me : Son, we don’t have a passport so we cannot go now.

Son : When will we get a passport ?

Me : Son, we have to go to Bharuch for that, our residence proof is there.

Son : But we live in Indore ! Me : But we have no proof that we live in Indore !

Son : Our Chowkidar will tell we live here !!

Me : Ohh… okk… we will get the pass port soon… ok…. Ok

Son : Dad… now we say Ka, Kha, Ga in hindi… Nahheeeeeeeeeee…… geee….

 While I learn Hindi Barakhdi….. its ta ‘da until next time buddies…. Like I said its really really challenging !!!! But I am going to overcome the challenges surely !

Btw how many of you can say Ka, Kha Ga fluently by heart ??? just to make me feel a lil better !! perhaps !!

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79 thoughts on “THE TIMES OF FATHERHOOD

  1. Ordinary Guy says:

    🙂 LOL…. fatherhood must be tough…. 🙂 and I thank my stars that I am still single and Happy….. 🙂
    Your son is brilliant!!!!!

    btw, thanks to you, indyeah and Smitha, I have also moved to wordpress…. 🙂 LOL

    • hitchwriter says:

      Hey Ajit !! welcome bhai !!! your WP’wala too !!! yay… our whole samaj seems to be migrating !!! lemme come to see your page…

      Font change ??

      Isnt that there in task bar when you are drafting the post ????

      it is supposed to be there !!

  2. Smita says:

    Ka kha ga gha??? I don’t know hindi counting beyond 40 😀

    and am rolling with laughter…ur son is darn adorable….

    And Am not taking part in ur test!!!! nah!!!

    D = Date???

    • hitchwriter says:

      Yes…. D = Date.. !! rite…

      geee. thanks for adding one…

      lol….

      Hindi Gujarati alphabets are difficult for me… me too after 60 i suddenly start counting in english….

  3. Sahaja says:

    LOL….wonderful..ur son is damn cute and surely smart 😛 …I quite liked ur idea of him becoming a fast bowler! what a imagination sirji 😛
    for a change, i just tried telling ka ,kha ga for myself and Yayyyy I succeeded.. 😀 [though my hindi is poor, its same as Telugu so thats the key point i u c, else i wud fail miserably :P]

    btw when is his budday? [aries kya?i am an aries too so u know why :P]

    • hitchwriter says:

      He is a born cricketer you see…. or rather i would like to see it that way… his birthday is 04-06-04 (boundary, sixer, boundary !!)

      Normally your imagination for your son is something you cudnt become.. so… naturally…

      • puneet says:

        Hitchy
        He born 04-06-04 but u want hime to be a fast bowler (I am sure these are not boundaries)
        I can take this like 4 over no maden 6 for 4 ..Howzaat??

  4. Indian Homemaker says:

    LOl I can’t say ka kha ga gha … never could 🙂

    And he sounds like a bright little devil to teach his dad a whole lot of things 🙂

    I also just feel I would be happy to see my kids doing whatever makes them happy. … eventually that is what we are all striving for, don’t want to be stuck in a career they hate every morning working for…

    And do find serious answers to all his questions – when we answer them we also learn.

    • hitchwriter says:

      trying my lousiest best… to answer his questions… but at times I am at wits end…

      actually at home he is the biggest entertainment ! 🙂

      • indianhomemaker says:

        Awww him being the biggest entertainment … that I can imagine :))) The picture shows a lot entertaining mischief on his face 🙂

  5. renu says:

    LOl:) , but I am not suprised that you find every other profession enjoyable than urs..its a classic case of grassbeing greener on the other side. But yes I always told my children that take a profession where you dont have to work a single day:)

    • hitchwriter says:

      honestly and ideally i would like to be a house husband… so no profession would actually suit me… however if i really had to get the job of my dream… it would mean me captaining India or doing some work for National Geographic !!

      To enjoy the job is something i miss !

  6. Winnie the poohi says:

    ka kha ga gha na cha chha ja jha na ta tha da dha na ta tha da dha na ( diff sounds in hindi ofcourse:P 😛 ) ya ra la va sha ( diff types of s) ha .. umm ends with gyna

    not bad huh ? 😛 😛

    Man your son is super cute! Dont you think its about time out language is upgraded? Why dont you create words for platypus?

    paatlopos 😉 Danavsura 😛 😛 .. you know just make it up 😀

    @ fruits : http://cookery.newarchaeology.com/fruits.php

    Learn them 😛 😛 for the next time 😀 😀

    His logic of chowkidaar is impeccable.. we shud make the government accept it 😛 😛

    I thoroughly njoyed this post 😀 😀

    Tame bau saras laakho cho 😛

    • hitchwriter says:

      God…. geee I need your resourceful ness….

      Danavasura !!! Paalopos !!! lolll i cud never think of something like that !!!

      that link is a boon !!!! wow…

      would love to play gully cricket… but only get a chance to play cricket in the park on sundays that tooo the lil one… will not allow… i gotta watch while he slides … !!! lol 🙂

  7. kanagu says:

    your son is damn cute.. never miss to learn lessons from him… enjoy the roller coaster ride.. more comments will follow when I get back to my PC 🙂

  8. Tara says:

    This was “the” hilarious post i tell you 😀
    cant stop laughing and was wishing it was little more longer 🙂 kids that way give u another chance to learn things all over again, isnt it. i m sure u enjoying it.

    Thank you btw, u have really really scared us about parenthood now… well done! and we shall direct all those inquisitive-abt-our-baby-plan ppl to this post of urs. getting the “u know nothing” dose from them isnt very exciting thought anymore.. hehe, but I did try reciting k, kh, ga, gha till gya silently(just like that abcde..z style) and was well, almost there 😀 .. no sachi..!

    god bless Hriday(nice name)!
    & all the best to you for the challenges…

  9. masood says:

    Dhiren, your scaring the shit out of me man! I must start lessons soon in order to prepare myself… still have a few years though! :p
    Awesome post! I just couldn’t stop laughing. Very well written. Loved the Dinosaur part.
    Seriously, whats with the kids these days?!? LOL
    My nephew is 5 and his ‘WHYs’ never end. Eventually, I just bully the guy to shut up! :p

  10. hitchwriter says:

    @ Masood Bullying the nephew is easy i guess… but the son will bully you…. !!! trust me !! 🙂

    lol… jokes apart its not scary mate… its lovely… entertainment… and lots of smiles and hugs… !!!

  11. Smitha says:

    Dhiren!! That was so cute!!! And I assume that he is the handsome chap in the snap 🙂 Do tell Hriday that he has one big fan in me – he is so smart and so cute!!!

    By the way, on the subject of dinosaurs, the natural history museum in London has som amazing real life versions of Dinosaurs – robotic ones and they also move!!! They have dinosaur eggs hatcing and little baby dinsaurs coming out of the eggs!! Your son would love it!! I think we had taken some videos and snaps.. Will email it to you if I get it.. Better still – make a trip to London and see it for yourselves – and visit us here:)

    • hitchwriter says:

      Hey Smitha !! thanks for your very affectionate words !!!

      London ??

      *hands on hips*

      no passport !! no money !! lol…. 😛 😀 so will rather await the pics !!! lol !!!

      and first on the list outside India is Congo !! Zaire… I am not going anywhere else… !!

  12. Solilo says:

    Dhiren, Hugsy to that cutie pie of yours. {{Hugs}}

    I am rolling in laughter. The kid sure stumps you. He wants a Dinosaur. Ha..ha..a sho cute!

    • hitchwriter says:

      wow… another fruit site,…. geee… i saved it !!! now he should be happy tonite !!!!

      and hey come in yahoo !

  13. Indyeah says:

    LOL!! 😀 Dhiren your Funniest post ever! I kept laughing like a loon! 😀
    alle (((hugs))give hima huge hug from me 🙂
    he is a darling and really smart 😉
    lol! he really has yyou stumped doesnt he? 😀

    You sure are one cool dad though 😀
    no studies only cricket 😀
    LOL@India needs you son! ”
    amen I say! 😀

    yeah maybe in 10 years we will see his name in the team list 😀

    loved this post dhiren 😀
    awesome way to make your WP debut

    Winnie has done a great job with the links, with the varnmala and with the gujarati 😀

      • Indyeah says:

        LOL! 😀 arre Dhiren this blogroll update thing was missing no? 😦
        so have been trying to see the updates on my blogspot one! 😀

        WP is a maze at times ;D
        aww

        thanks Dhiren 🙂
        How could I not comment on yours?

        Hriday is a darling in the pic and when he asks you the questions too :DI can imagine you scracthing your head!

        LOL@I don’t know whats with this new generation kids and dinosaurs, can’t they be like us as kids just be happy with the puppy on the roadside or a cat ! If we saw a pet rabbit somewhere we would be as pleased as punch.

        😀 😀 He is a genius Dhiren! 😉

        • hitchwriter says:

          I made a blog roll parse and all that… from chirag’s older post… but it doesnt work still !!!!

          yea it is a maze… but the more time we spend in it… the faster it will be our home !

          🙂
          😀

  14. Rashmi says:

    hey it was fun read…and somewhat scary for to be mom 🙂

    Ur son is chooooooo cute..My nephew is also fond of dinosaur and his mom has decorated his room with so many dinosaur stuff toys and postes and all….

    Wish u luck with handling more why and where 🙂

    • hitchwriter says:

      Naa.. Naa Rashmi… its really cool… and not at all scary !!

      though try and keep the new arrival away from those dinosaurs… !! lol 😛

  15. zinggy_mum says:

    Hey dhiren,
    the header is cool…u could give it a title ..these r the few of my favourite things!
    and hriday is one smart kid who is trying to make his papa learn a few things. on the whole an enjoyable read! kuddos!

  16. Badz says:

    Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha! I take it you are having ALOT of fun being a father. Next time,send Hriday to ask your wife to translate such animals in all languages. She was a teacher, I’m sure she’ll think of something. 😉 😀

    • hitchwriter says:

      Badz…. actually she gets to do this stuff the whole day… but she never complaints !

      Mom’s are a different breed altogether !! 🙂

  17. Usha says:

    That kid is going places. You can bet your boots on that! 🙂

    The picture is so cute, and it reveals that knitted brow, a mischievous grin, and the twinkle in his eye, which all add up to the really bright young man he is, throwing hexes on his dad!

    But then again, the Dad is on cool dad, to be able to say I dont know 🙂 Good for you, and as IHM has already said, hunting for some real answers to his questions will make the dad a cleverer and more learned soul 🙂

    We grow with them, dont we Dhiren. And that is ajoy that perhaps nothing else gives… 🙂

    Bless Hriday, and his family 🙂

  18. kanagu says:

    I am LOL imagining the real situation.. it’s really to tough satisfy the children if they continue to ask questions..

    /*/*Son : Adha, what do you call a Dinosaur in Gujarati ?

    Me : Hriday, lets stop this, we will sing poems.*/

    warning: this trick won’t help you everyday 🙂

    /*/*My parents were really smart to not introduce me to any other animals other than cat, dog, cow, goat, buffalo or lion, tiger, fox, cheetah, elephant*/

    yes 🙂

    /*/*Son : “Adha, when will we go to see Dinosaurs ?”

    Me : Hriday, dinosaurs don’t exist, they all died years ago.

    Son : Don’t lie.

    Me : Really, one meteor came from the space on the earth and there was a big explosion and the atmosphere got very hot and they all died, now they don’t exist !

    Son : waaaaaa….. sob sob…. I want to see Dinosaurs….. */

    nobody will have answer for this.. 🙂 just call Speilberg to convince Hriday 🙂

    /*/*Son : When will we go to Africa ?

    Me : Son, we don’t have a passport so we cannot go now.

    Son : When will we get a passport ?

    Me : Son, we have to go to Bharuch for that, our residence proof is there.

    Son : But we live in Indore ! Me : But we have no proof that we live in Indore !

    Son : Our Chowkidar will tell we live here !!

    Me : Ohh… okk… we will get the pass port soon… ok…. Ok

    Son : Dad… now we say Ka, Kha, Ga in hindi… Nahheeeeeeeeeee…… geee….*/

    I am just can’t stop laughing 😀

    check these links:

    http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_are_some_vegetables_or_Fruits_names_for_each_letter_in_the_alphabet
    insects:
    http://fotooizo.free.fr/listephpinsectes_ang.php
    animals:
    http://www.enchantedlearning.com/coloring/b.shtml

    hope they will be helpful for you Dhiren 🙂

  19. Sahaja says:

    hey Dhiren, i accidentally came acroos this video…its very strong language for indian [girl def] but its similar to what i listen almost everyday at work [liverpool ppl most of them are arghhh] so nt much effect……just have a look at it, its very similar to ur post if u ignore the strong language…its hilarious!

    [u need nt publish this comment if you dont like]

  20. hitchwriter says:

    Luckily we have a pretty good pace attack now a days… but when i grew up we had Kapil and than once Srinath… but never a Thomson or a Lillee or a Marshall !!!

    I always wanted to be that…

    !! lol

  21. snow says:

    hahahaha lol dinosaurs in hindi?! i too wanted them as pets after Jurassic Park lol so i understand where your son is coming from hehe btw, moved to wordpress eh? is it better? template looks cool 🙂 i’ll go update my blogroll. very very funny post 😀 keep it up!

    best one —-> “become a fast bowler (please son, India needs you)” HAha you are such a COOL dad 😀

  22. Destination Infinity says:

    I agree 100% with the fact that first rankers are hopeless. I am also happy that I was never first in my class after UKG. I was first in my class in UKG and by the time I was in twelfth starndard, I was in the slow learners class! Talk about improvement!! But I am proud of it even till date. Like you. Hmmm bringing up kids should be tough I guess… but it is a good quality to find humor in the tough situations of life!!

    Destination Infinity

  23. hitchwriter says:

    Absolutely Infinity !! They are snobs…. i always used to sit behind a guy who was a first ranker…

    and that rascal wouldnt let me copy from his paper…. no wonder i think they are snobs !!

    seriously why wouldnt you help ??

    its not tough !! bringing up kids is a lot of fun… 😀

  24. Chirag Chamoli says:

    @Being a father is a rather challenging job – You are scaring me 😉

    @I agree 100% with the fact that first rankers are hopeless.
    Dude 🙂 my brother is first ranker ;D

    its fun Chirag, not at all challenging.. just to make it amusing i wrote that way !!! lol…

    your bro first ranker ?? lol !!! ha ha

  25. Nidhi Malhotra says:

    hahahha…..really our parents were intellignt enough in introducing with only selected animals like cat dog n all…….but ur son is really roxxxxxx…..hahahahha…….i cant stop myself laughing…….really thnxxx for sharing here……God bless him……n i pray he will keep on asking such question n make u restless so in turn u’ll share it here[:p]…….hahahha……jus kidding…….well All d very best, god bless u too!!

  26. Nids says:

    Going through all of your posts as I am a new bee on your blog. Loved this post and Hriday, He is a smart champ. I have a 6yr old son, who is still in a “Why”, ” Where” and “How” phase. Good luck to you and your wife, I know its challenging, but these moments are precious and they will never come back, so enjoy this time with him 🙂

  27. Rashmi says:

    Congratulations and Celebrations…

    this is really ur funniest post ever and deserve to win…

    but credit shd go to hriday ..who is real inspiration for this post…

    so is he getting gift tonite 🙂

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