no logics…

 

I am a Jain by birth, by “Karma” though I dont qualify for any religion.

 

I simply need a strong logic to back up everything and unless there is some really logical scientific reason to explain, why I am supposed to do so and so… I wont do it… However if my free mind wishes to do it I might as well do it…. So basically I do what I like and what I feel is right and cannot toe a line… just coz a Jain is supposed to do it…

 

I am thankful to my best friend Vijay for introducing me to the world of eggs and flesh ! I simply love eggs and chicken and am a proud meat eating Indian !! naa… I dont care about jain or hindu or muslim !! never have, never will !!!

 

I am more than happy to eat cakes on christmas at my friend Vaibhav’s (christian) house and most most most pleased at the lovely Chicken Biryani Asif’s mom makes on Eid!!!  She is my favourite cook !

 

Now… I married a non jain girl…. who also used to love eating chicken ! In her house they dont cook nonveg, as mom in law doesnt eat or cook,  but they always indulge outside in restaurants….

 

Now strangely, my girlfriend who loves eating chicken, suddenly marries me and decides to quit eggs and non veg !!

 

No in my house this is not allowed most definitely… If my mom comes to know about this post… I am banned from entering her house… !!  😦  thankfully she doesnt read my blogs

 

But I still eat, never let my mom know ! My wife was to do the same thing, eat and not tell at home,  but she quit ! why ? i dont know !!

 

Than my wife does “ekashana” (eating just once a day and consuming only boiled water, water is only allowed between sunrise and sunset, after that no water either) in our festival “Paryushana”, this festival comes once a year for 8 days in the monsoon.

 

So she ate only once for 8 days, now I have never done half a fast or even an attempt ever, nor has my mom ever done a fast, nor has my dad done a fast ever !! Neither my brothers… who both are also not jains by “karma”

 

Maybe she was trying to impress her mom in law, this was just after our marriage, who was very proud of her Daughter in law doing all the tapasya…. but the fact remains she was not forced, my mom herself could never fast !

 

Two days back, was “Mahavir Jayanti” … our samaj in Indore had a function and we were invited, the moment I read the invitation, I announced, we or atleast I are not going.

 

But missus, non jain by birth, decides she has to go… I live with my brother who is married to a jain girl, this jain girl says she doesnt feel like going to the function and will stay home and eat….

 

My wife accompanied by a cousin’s wife… This cousin is also my boss… goes to the function, please note, my jain cousin is married to an assamee again a non jain !

 

So eventually these two Non Jains go and attend a jain function while I and my cousin are at office on a Jain holiday, not just do the ladies go to the samaj function which are not parties by any means, lots of silly bhajans and a few games… these ladies then come to office and advise us that we should go to such functions… or we will be left out of the samaj !!!!

 

I rarely visit any temples or derasar’s (jain temple) …. the last I can remember is going to an Ayappa temple about a year back, coz my son dragged me to it as he had been to the temple from his school and he loved the decoration !!!! (amazingly all that my mom or wife cannot get me to do, my son can easily )

 

Very often I am given a lecture that I should be visiting derasar’s and samaj functions more often by missus citing or else our son will not become jain !!! (I aint a jain you aint a jain than why do you want to make your son a jain ? Cant we be Indians ? no religion ! )  

 

When I try and feed eggs to my son, my wife objects ! She wants me to allow him to select his own religion ! She says he is a born Jain you should allow him to grow up as a jain and than he may select his own religion !

 

I am like whats the logic behind all this ?? 

( i can understand if i want my wife to change etc… but when I am least concerned why is she so concerned… no matter how much explanation… she thinks she is a jain, that I am a jain and I must try and be a jain and most importantly my son must be a jain !! )

 

Over the years, I have been hammering away at my wife and now I have got her to slowly start eating eggs and the gravy from the chicken… but I can never stop her from stopping eating roots and greenery during “Paryushan” or from her wanting to follow all Jain customs…

 

Religion is a highly complicated matter isn’t it ? Why people do certain things is totally beyond me… as my wife’s logics…. which I have questioned many times and she just doesnt have any answers…. just like that she says always !

 

What also strikes me is the uncanny ability of women to accept changes and try and adapt to different things… Would a man do these things… even if he were asked ?

 

.

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63 thoughts on “no logics…

  1. snow says:

    super impressed by ur wifey, she’s some lady of substance must say!! to adapt all your household customs, which even you don’t follow, is like WOW! don’t know about logic and all, but my thinking is — you should believe in whatever you do, no point in following something if your heart is not in it.

    HW : thats what is beyond me… how does your belief change with marriage ?? you used to eat chicken before marriage..!! now suddenly you start believing in Jain philosophy, coz you married a jain guy ??

    Would i do that if I married a jain girl ?? no way !! why does she have to do it… how does the heart come into this… is beyond me !

  2. ugich konitari says:

    You know, I must be your Mom’s age or even older maybe, and I absolutely agree with your wife and boss’s wife. It isnt all about arbitrary life and diet rules. There is a concept of “life mein mun par control”…..and learning it.

    You either do that now, or about 15 years later do rounds of doctors and path labs.

    I seem to get the feeling that this post is inspired by a defiant rethinking on your part , after having gorged in a non jain manner. You might possibly believe your mom and wife are right. This is a typical reaction. 🙂

    (They have such wonderful vegetarian grub in Gujarat. Why spoil it with eggs for your son ? Terrible of you. 🙂

    Tsk Tsk. (Shake of the head)

    HW : I dont know, I dont go to the caste functions coz they all seem to be more insecure to me…. its as if we all should get together so that when some calamity strikes against our religion… we might help each other… thats what it smells of… although never does any one mention… but these caste, samajs are basically for quelling this insecurity… thats what i feel….

    Bout, veg or non veg ? well god made this world like that, we humans learnt farming and spoilt the whole balance… I am fit, I dont over eat, I excercise… I jog and take care… only i love the non vegetarian cuisine… just coz I happened to be born in a Jain house… I should not ??

    I dont know… I m confused at the logic of my wife…

    reading your comment, a person whom I respect is confusing me even more…

    I never thought what I was doing was the less logical thing !

    sheesh…. 😦

  3. Jason Elder says:

    Excellent Blog. I’ve been reading along and just wanted to say hi. I will be reading more of your posts in the future.

    – Jason.

    HW : Welcome Jason ! thanks ! and hey.. coming over to your blog !

  4. Solilo says:

    I am not getting into the whole religion thing but I am so impressed by your wife. She is a woman of substance. You are lucky, Dhiren.

    HW : I would be even luckier if she would enjoy Butter Chicken with me !!! 😉

  5. chrome3d says:

    You know I didn´t understand much of that and I don´t have “tools” to understand much of it either. I still like your attitude and I don´t think it´s that boring or cynical.

    HW : Hey chrome, In India we have lots of religions and rituals and lots of traditions.. It would take me a life time to explain ! lol ! keep leaving your imprints though !

  6. Sahaja says:

    Your wify is a very nice lady 🙂 lucky you! But shud say, you are very very nice too :), lucky her 😛 …..jamegi Jodi 😀 no wonder u said, marriage setting unv 😛

    I know someone who is brahmin and is in love with a non- brahmin,she loveeees chicken……..they dint yet marry but he already said, no chicken no meat after marriage…dont know if he really wud be like that after marriage but ya I was so damn surpsrised ……coz at home he doesnt eat eggs but outside he loves omlette…..

    HW : lol… seems the MSU has stuck with you !!! …. yea indeed… 🙂

  7. Mystery says:

    hey dhiren,
    truly ur wife is a great lady! making herself change so much is not an easy task.
    that apart, even i dont understand the logic behind it:)

    HW : as they say… Mystery ! lol

    also let me have your link !

  8. Destination Infinity says:

    I feel (and I might be wrong about it) that this may be the case of the grass on the other side of the rivere being greener. For both of you!!

    And eating habits are not the main focus area of a religion!

    Destination Infinity

    HW : I cant see the grass ne greener !! lol… She can I guess… I can only see Chicken ! lol… 🙂

  9. Lakshmi says:

    I am totally impressed by your wife and amzed at the funny way you put things across to us.Totally impressive hitchwriter.things came so easily to us,that i was actually immersed in your thoughts for a while.As style typical of u and not copiable.I know my cousin who got amried to abrahmin and stopped eating even eggs,but before she wouldnt eat without fried fish.Life makes you understand the logics,isnt it?

    HW : Like your cousin, I am amazed at this ability of women to adapt and accept this change, they should not is what I feel, I can assure you no male will ever do it ! really !

    • varunavi says:

      Lol dhiren my sister married a brahmin and after marriage the guy started eating non-veg which before marriage he never ate.His parents are not aware that he eats non-veg.When i asked him how can you eat? He says after marriage your sister changed herself to fit into my family and why i don’t make a small change by eating non-veg.

  10. Indyeah says:

    Dhiren another good post…becasue it made me think 😉
    I mean love and marriga ehave nothing to do with giving up or not giving up things is it?
    I respect your wife’s decisions and can understand where she is coming from…but also your logic is quite right…I mean one cant give up something just because a religious text says so…religion in any case(for those who believe in it)is all about living an honest life and doing good deeds right?as long as we are doing that things hsould be fine…as for your son 🙂 well he could be fed evrything I suppose…(but its you and your wife’s decision obviously) it is ONLY after he grows up that he can decide whether he wants to follow the religion or eat or not eat certain things…I mean even your wife was able to change her habits at such a late age wasnt she?

    SImple!
    I found your logic darn good!wish more people would think like you!

    ATY the same time please let me say that having a lot of very close and dear relatives who think just like your wife does I can totally understand how your wife must be feeling:)

    religion is all about our heart and mind Dhiren..what we eat or not eat has nothing to do with it
    And yes if all the dieting can help me get a detox then I am all for it 😀

    HW : Infact we have now stopped arguing about these things, most of the times I ask her if Milk is vegetarian ?? And if plants are not living beings ? No answers really…

    I find it odd that if i eat before sunset in Paryushana, she feels happy !

    How she decides to follow is what I cannot comprehend and asking her so many times, she can never tell me why she is doing this…
    At times people just follow religion, they just dont question it, which unfortunately the rebel in my cannot !

    And BTW I am on a detox diet… !! cleaning the system before I go to Bharuch, for 10 day vacation, to eat the choicest of Non Vegetarian food, Bharuch is special for it !!!! 😀

    • Indyeah says:

      but also dude I am a vegetarian by choice 😉
      matlab I consider all non veg things to be err…dead things that we eat 😀
      now will you still eat? 😆
      yup!irritate my friends like this too! 😀

      LOL@the reason for the detox diet! 😀

      HW : Arent plants living things ?? The only difference is probably they dont make noise when they are chopped off !!

      I aint gonna get irritated ever… I love chicken !! 😀 !!

      Remember DhiruGyaan… : Bhagwaan made this world.. we were supposed to eat meat !! but we discovered farming ! agriculture, we cut forests and made farms.. we ruined everything !!

      Tongue in Cheek ! now now…

  11. apocalypse says:

    Bhabiji deserves an award… How did she quit eating chicken. I mean its chicken how could someone possibly stop eating chicken…

    And that 8 day fast, i have found the logical explanation behind it… It must be to keep the women in shape… Old geezers thought of such an idea… 🙂

    HW : she does deserve an award, but who will give it ?? I aint deserving to give that award !! lol… I dont qualify !! Exactly how can one quit chicken !! how ?? 😛

    that fast is to kill people… lol !

  12. gunmeen says:

    i agree dhiren totally. i am a sikh by birth and we have this funny thing in our religion of not getting our hair cut. this is something which i have never understood. i mean you cant even get your hair trimmed. i have always rebelled and did whatever i liked to my hair.
    there was this guy whom i met for a marriage alliance and he actually told me that he will not let me cut my hair after marriage. i tell you i ran for my life.

    another funny thing is that we have to wear that stainless stell ka ‘kada’. now i am allergic to all metals but wgenever some guruji comes to town some community people will insist that if he tiuches it and you wear it you will not get rashes. and even after doing that i still get rashes because they fail to understand that the guruji cannot change the way my body and skin function. i tell you religion in our country can get onto your nerves. and yes i have never come across a guy who converts to his wife’s religion if he going for an inter religion marriage.

    HW : Run Gunmeen Run !!!!! as far as you can from him !!!! people who want to change you cannot be life partners !!!! I am vry clear on that !!!!

    Lol… I love the kada’s !!! In college we used to wear 2-3 kada’s !!! lol !!!

    yes we have some really weird procedures !!!

    Imagine we cannot eat onion and garlic or potato they grow under the earth !!! but we can eat turmeric !!! beat that !!

  13. varunavi says:

    Dhiren u r a lucky guy:) So sweet of ur wife.It’s her choice to follow the religion.And appreciate u as well as u have not forced her or made her follow jain religion.I have seen people who convert their girl friends into their religion soon after the marriage.They even their etire.
    You both are made for each other.Touchwood 🙂

    HW : its not about appreciating her… lol… I cant fathom her logic and thinking !

  14. Winnie the poohi says:

    Umm I have been reading everyones post.. Umm I am sorry but I dont think your wife did anything special..

    May be I think she just loves the community feeling of it ? O remember how it was during “Paryushana”

    Its like a month long celebrations.. Not just your mother but everyone else takes care that you eat on time.. you go to derasar to eat..

    And I think its all about umm feeling one with everyone. May be its simply faith. She wants it in your life

    Btw eating before sunset is supp to be healthy..
    P.S: I love going to derasar.. Used to go with my friends and all 🙂

    HW : its not about doing something special… I cant understand why the need to change from what you are ??? how can she start liking the community thing all of a sudden ?? how can and why should she change ??

    Thats wat… no logic in this… which i cant understand actually !

      • Winnie the poohi says:

        I am not that religious myself.. but some places makes me feel that “inner peace” some temples and some derasars too 🙂 its the mood they set with agarbattis and low volume chants i guess!

        I prefer going to hills and valleys to feel peace… I would prefer places with few or no humans !! only then there can be peace !

  15. Ordinary Guy says:

    🙂 good one…. people can change and adapt!!!!!

    i love anything the runs, swims and flies!!!!! and no animal is “sacred” or “dirty” for me…. 🙂 but I am now a self imposed “Vegitarian” for a year…. 🙂 adnd I am waiting for Nov 14th…. 🙂

        • Indyeah says:

          *looks really petrified*
          err no we will let it be 😀

          anything that” flies, swims, walks, runs” the definiton is enough for me 😀

          HW : I agree totally with Ajit… I want to eat everything that runs, flies or swims !!! atleast taste it !!! lol…. I too live to eat !!!! absollutely !!!! lol…. I guess we sit on a pm chat to discuss what all you have tasted !! I have tasted a fair few varieties ! … I think only Veer Sanghvi amongst Jains would have tasted more varieties than me !!! 🙂

  16. Rashmi says:

    here its contradiction in my case..i m pure vegetarian..dont want my stomach to be graveyard by eating dead animals 😉 …by choice not by religion….and my hubby eats non veg occasionally…ouside house…inside its not allowed by me 🙂
    ur wifey is so sweet..she adopted ur religion with so much ease…lucky you 🙂

    HW : Lucky me ?? I want her to share my tandoori chicken !! unlucky me !! lol 😉

  17. Thoorika says:

    Lolz!!! You are tryin to pull your son in your league !!! Not working.. 😀

    HW : It will… he loves egg yolk !! Only she should not notice when i feed him !

  18. Badz says:

    Well Dhiren! I agree with your wife. Being in her shoes, I would do the same. I mean she was a hindu girl marrying into a jain family. So she feels, she should also accept the way of your culture and bring up your son up to do the same until he is old enough to makeup his own decision on what he feels he should and should not eat/follow/believe.

    I myself am a vegetarian, as you’re aware, and follow the hindu religion. I was bought up not to eat meat (non veg), fast, etc, even though I have been born and bought up in the UK. Today, I do all the fasts, etc out of choice. No one makes me. In fact, mum herself will tell me not to fast and starve myself whilst staying/living in my hostel BUT I do it out of choice.

    So I don’t see what your wife is doing is wrong. Because she chooses to do it. And no one is making her. And I guess she is also trying to set an example to your son.

    HW : I agree wat you say…. but tell me… tomorrow if you marry a meat eating family… will you start cooking meat, eating meat ??

    • Badz says:

      If i married a guy/family that ate meat, I personnally couldn’t change myself to eat it. I may cook it for them, BUT not eat it.

  19. Shilpa says:

    HW,
    Just like you, may be your wife is just doing what she likes to. No problem there, right? Her decision to let the child know his roots but allow him to choose what he wants is the right thing to do.

    Would a man adapt the way a woman does? I don’t know. You know, we are programmed from the time we are born to adapt. Whether, that’s good or bad is a different discussion. But it sure does come handy.

    HW : I guess so, since you say you are programmed… but what beats me and defeats me is even when you are told to not change and not adapt you quintessentially do… Yes it is her right to do what she wants to do !!!!

    However thats where I cant find the logic… !

  20. vishesh unni raghunathan says:

    lol….I am a veggie , some how even though my friends who are also brahmins eat non veg I don’t feel like…but i hve no issues sharing the table with people who eat non veg… 🙂

    HW : welcome to my blog first up !! and I get a comment tooo !! lol… !!! yay yay…

    Thank god you have no issues…. lol…. not that you should… we can now all sit together for a debate over meal !!! lol 😆 !!! this one will be a satisfying debate I am sure and all will emerge victors for a change !!! 🙂

  21. Indyeah says:

    Dhiren why are you in a quite mood ?

    HW : Quiet not any more… the blogger ego in me got a big kick from my wife !!! sob sob… recovering and writing a post about it !!!

  22. nicky says:

    hello…

    jus came across this post..

    let me tell you i am a jain by birth and do try n follow to a certain extend(during phurjushan jus fast the last day) .. found this post interesting!!!..will keep following your blog now 🙂

    HW : Welcome aboard !! glad you liked it… keep coming !! and hey do you have a blog ? you didnt leave any link !

  23. Tara says:

    why do ur posts have so many comments and all tempting to be read ?????
    since its sunday, i will skip them n say what i had to say on reading ur post.

    i think its great to hear what you say being a jaini urself. religion or the customs should never be forced upon someone. I have seen a jain guy trying to impose certain do n donts on her non jain wife back home and she would always tell me what she disliked abt jainism.. forcing leads to this. u like butter chicken and you are happy if you are able to have that. similarly if for whatever reasons, ur wife likes following some jain rituals, let her…. its about what gives you that inner sense of satisfaction and pleasure… do as you want to.. so done wonder and dont try to influence her.

    & without an iota of doubt, ur wife is a really nice sweet lady.. i dint know such woman still exist 😛
    go n do visit derasar and offer prayers as a token of thanks to the jain gods for you got such a wife 🙂 :).. no seriously you must! 😀

    HW : Since I am a handsome charming young no wonder I have so many comments !! especially from females !! yuk yuk… !!!

    lol….

    Jokes apart… I dont know I havent forced her to eat non veg… but i just didnt want her to leave it for me… what I never cud understand is how can she do it for herself !!! lol….

  24. sandhya says:

    ‘When I try and feed eggs to my son, my wife objects ! She wants me to allow him to select his own religion ! She says he is a born Jain you should allow him to grow up as a jain and than he may select his own religion !’

    Your mother must have brought you up unknowingly in this way, without compelling you to follow the rituals of your religion. Let your son decide according to his belief/non-belief in religion.

    Am I talking to my son, now, Dhiren? He thinks just like you – non-believer in god. We are vegetarians and both my sons are strict vegetarians. He has not changed in that way. He avoids coming with us on tours because temple visits will be there, he says. I am just worried that when he gets married, definitely he will be asked to follow the rituals. I don’t like to compel him to do anything he does not like. Both my sons are good by nature and I want them to be like that. If he wants to be an atheist, let him be.

    I have met a lot of girls who think that they should follow the practices of their husband’s family. If your wife thinks she should follow the practices of your religion, let her do that. Maybe she is happy to do so.

    I like this blog of yours. You have made me to think and plan how I should be with my future daughter-in-law – both your mother and wife are great.

    By the way, your son’s photograph is beautiful. Chubby cheeks, dimple chin…..Nice family, you have, Dhiren!

    Sandhya… I guess yours is a fair comment… its a tribute to you that you think that way with your son… glad you feel you felt you were talking to your own son… I just feel blessed … !! 🙂 I am feeling so so … nice now…

  25. renu says:

    I can so very much understand your wife, my mom used to say…….jaise he fere padte hain man badal jaata ha..( means the girl starts feeling for her husband and family).and i found it so right, I always feel that I belong to my H/s family, feel like doing their rituals and traditions only:), I love my parents , siblings a lot, do a lot for them, but for me this—husband’s is my main family now:).

    HW : amazing how you folks can adapt and accept…

  26. raghav says:

    this marriage thing too complicated for u mate?

    why did u get urself in the situation that you would NEED her to read your blog?

    HW : too complicated a comment… didnt get what your trying to ask me ?

  27. Gypsy Girl says:

    🙂 my hubby a digamber jain.. me a malayalee brahmin. Hubby’s been a pucca vegetarian all his life.. me on the other hand (not one to do something because its expected or tradition) experimented with food and then by choice became a veggie way before marriage.

    A lot of people have asked us about what religion my son is going to follow and how we are going to raise him. I have only one thing to say.I would prefer to raise a good human being. Hubby, being jain is not a religious fanatic and follows only the scientific aspects of the religion. For us, its just a way of life and not because we’re Jain or Hindu. My son will be raised Jain. He will end up imbibing the best of both religions. But the one thing he will learn is that the relationship with God is personal. If he has one, good for him. If he doesn’t believe- that’s his choice. He doesn’t stop being my son and I’m not going to love him any less. But yes, he can’t have non veg in my house 🙂 my house, my rules!!! grin!

    Ritely said, my house my rules…. !! lol….

    I can understand what you are saying is perfectly logical. But why my wife accepts these rituals so easily I cant. How can any one like it ??? thats what I get no logics for …!

  28. zinggy_mum says:

    dhiren y r u so hung-ho about ur wifey following jainism and keeping fasts? it would be something else if u were to force her to accept it but here she is doing it of her own will. she has her own mind and she wants to do things her way. (in a way its her love for u).
    as far as veg and nonveg is concerened all these animals r purely vegetarian so we could be called nonveg vegetarians…lol!
    thoroughly enjoying ur blogs.

  29. niraj jain says:

    hi me too a jain.. was very eager to try nonveg food… nd first tried chicken nuggets to start with @ mcd loved the taste was diffrent frm the usual veggie stuff… to after having that had an chicken mcgrill both were too amazing nd yes now i hav also entered the world of nonveg eaters… 🙂

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