Quanderies..

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 GUEST POST

 hema

Life at 31

 Age 4 -20: School, Graduation
Age 20-30: Working with dad (just 5 hrs a day) in our retail store
Age 30 – to now: Working as Design and Content Manager

 
What do I have today?

1. Zero bank balance
2. No work experience (actual, real kind of work)
3. No professional degree

 

I wonder who I am and what I stand for today. Was never very enthusiastic about going to school, college …actually did not like the education system, just did not fit in it. (nobody at home had a clue of it). And fully well know it is no reason for me to have not got a professional degree as many of my batch mates have done wonderfully well with loads of hard work and perseverance. I just was not motivated enough and unfortunately was not in that kind of an environment. The others who too did not get into profession and work around me were getting married and starting their new lives. I also went thru that stage of meeting families and eligible men with whom one would want to settle down but just did not connect with any. 

 
So today, I am neither out there capturing the world nor a wife/mother combo. It is so easy to blame parents, hurt people but I can’t do it, for its not me, me being the one who strongly believes that, only one person is responsible for ones life- the person himself.

 
Guys, all though the tone may sound all negative, like a weakling’s, a failed person, it isn’t. I am just taking the balance sheet of life  (at age 30!! funny, isn’t it??) to analyze and do what needs to be done next. Life, like always and as its nature is, did bring in a lot of other things. I got exposed to a very different way of existence or living one’s life, of which I remember contemplating even as a teenager. 

 
I accidentally bumped into a friend who took me over to a Yoga Center and from where there has been no turning back. I met people from different cultures, who were in different areas in their lives, people with their own stories and most of all this MAN who had chosen to drop off everything he had, to find out who he really IS. And who, in his journey did touch millions of lives.

 

Today if I have to jot down all that  I really truly know; not what I have read or heard from other people.
1. One can only do things; the results are not for us to decide.
2. The best things in life are the ones which did not work out, no matter how badly one wanted them when swallowed fully in them.
3. Life is simply generous, easy and mind blowing!
4. Being one with oneself is the highest respect a man can show towards life.
5. The present moment is the most powerful, potent thing.

 
Other timeless truths which I’ve heard from enlightened  gurus, read in scriptures of which I have no real experience, but have had a taste are:
1. Nothing from ‘outside’ can make one happy.
2. The world is merely one’s own projection.
3. ‘i’ is only an illusion. ‘I’ is the reality, the truth.
4.  A human birth’s only purpose is realizing one’s true nature.

 
 
Now today at 31, am at crossroads as to what I should do?
a. Go back to school, get a professional degree (earn moolah to fulfill ones material goals, Also is one way of giving back to society)
b. As truth and happiness cannot be found outside, stay put.
c. Surrender, give into life, and take each day as it comes (as the result is not in our hands).
d. Pursue the truth as that’s the purpose of life.

 


As I am writing the above four lines I realize that none of the above are or need to be exclusive. Having done this exercise, I now know I need to go to school, get a professional degree, get into something intensive and experience that life for a while…
 
Will come up with another one like this in a year!
Adios

 

——————

A friend who follows my blog very closely once after seeing me write wrote the above piece and sent it to me on email… I have been trying to get her to start a blog but she wont… this was written last year in September…

so I guess its time for another… what do you say guys… lets have ur reactions… 🙂 🙂

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59 thoughts on “Quanderies..

  1. Pixie says:

    Very well written.
    Poignant.

    I guess all us need to take stock of the situation we are currently in and see what best needs to be done for a better future.

    I completely agree with the writer when she says – “only one person is responsible for ones life- the person himself.”

    I also totally and strongly believe in the last 3 points:

    3. Life is simply generous, easy and mind blowing!
    4. Being one with oneself is the highest respect a man can show towards life.
    5. The present moment is the most powerful, potent thing.

    Very well written 🙂

    Me – I agree to the last 3 too ! 🙂

  2. Deeps says:

    its good to introspect at times.thats when you know what you really want and what is it that makes you happy.
    glad that your friend got an answer to her thoughts.

    All the best wishes to her 🙂

  3. Prats says:

    Very well written stuff, I think she should start a blog, if she has more of her views to life to share.

    The stuff is philosophically very balanced and I could draw an immediate connect with Sri Bhagwad Gita which I personally consider as the most important treatise ever written on the philosophy of life.

    Way to go for the Writer.

    Me : I always tell her to start a blog… lets hope your saying it works… !!! 🙂

  4. Indian Homemaker says:

    How matured blogging makes people!

    Anyway I have always wondered how one pursues the truth…

    enlighten me (serious)

    Me – are you asking a nut like me.. how to pursue truth ?? boy… !!! 😀 😀

    • Rakesh says:

      Yup, that’s what I thought – How does one pursue the truth? And the truth about what? Like Where do babies come from? That’s the first truth kids pursue…

      And then there are a lot more 😛

  5. Bindhu!! says:

    Thanks for writing “Guest Post” at the top. Else, we all would have got the shock of life… 🙂

    On a serious note, I have always believed on 2 things
    1. Its MY Life and I am accountable for it.
    2. Do your work and leave the result to God.

    Also, education gives you confidence and broader look of life. No matter what your passion is, education is an absolute necessity. That’s my view.

    Me – Education… doesnt mean a professional degree does it ?? sigh…

    • Solilo says:

      Hitchy, a professional degree is a must to move ahead. We don’t live in a gurukul system anymore.

      For argument sake we can say that we should learn from life and degrees aren’t important but then that is not how world works and we live in this world.

      We can always get educational degrees and also learn from life. Why should we compromise on one thing?

        • Solilo says:

          They do, Hitchy but what are the averages?

          If education wasn’t important then why did Dhirubhai Ambani send his two sons abroad and that too to prestigious B-schools for MBA? Papa Ambani was uneducated and built that empire, right? Did he value education? YES!

          People often quote Bill Gates’ example but they don’t know that Gates was born into one of the richest families. He had computer when people didn’t know what computer was. He studied in prestigious schools. He left Harvard. To get into Harvard he must be something, right?

          Hitchy, do read Malcolm Gladwell’s Outliers.

          For me academics is really important. My daughter could be good in sports or dance or singing but the span of success in such career is less. The averages are too. There should always be education to fall back on. One can pursue any interests in life when one has something to fall back on. Why can’t our interests and academics go hand in hand?

          The reason many hate studies is because of bad atmosphere at school and no encouragement and appreciation. Everyone is not equal but then we aren’t vying for No:1 position. We are just getting ourselves educated. Life will teach us lessons anyways. It starts teaching when we are in our mother’s womb.

          We can argue about materialistic things and its importance but the truth is all of us need that. None of us are retiring to Himalayas any time sooner. Till we live in this society, we need those things. Small things in life bring us happiness but bigger things are n’ t that bad either.

        • Destination Infinity says:

          Take it from a person who was always in the top 5 ranks in school – Education, as it exists today, can at best make robots and at the max. help you get a routine job. Even when in school, all round development is more important than mere mugging up of text books and scoring high marks.

          And regarding Reliance, the highly educated brothers seem to be more interested fighting amongst themselves – wonder what the situation of the company would be when their grand children take over… but I am sure Dhirubai Ambani would have instilled some excellent managers who do the actual work…

          Of course the world needs all kinds of people, but the exceptional ones are always – you got it right – unconditioned by the so called ‘education system’!

          Destination Infinity

          • Solilo says:

            @DI: All that is Utopian Philosophy. In real world you need education and skills and that is the reason even the uneducated makes it a point to educate their children and mind you not just from any school but top schools.

            What has their internal conflicts got to do with business? As families grow, it is quite normal. How many would home school their children because they find today’s education system farce? Would you? Living in a real competitive world, it is easy to say all that but difficult to follow it.

            I guess you missed these lines. ” Everyone is not equal but then we aren’t vying for No:1 position. We are just getting ourselves educated. Life will teach us lessons anyways. It starts teaching when we are in our mother’s womb.”

          • Solilo says:

            DI wrote: “I am sure Dhirubai Ambani would have instilled some excellent managers who do the actual work.”

            And where did these Managers come from? Gurukuls? I am sure they were hired from good business schools too. 😉

  6. Sandhya says:

    ‘ Nothing from ‘outside’ can make one happy.’

    ‘ The present moment is the most powerful, potent thing.’

    ‘only one person is responsible for ones life- the person himself.’

    I liked these lines…they are so true, Dhiren. Hope she is happy with herself now.

    Me – Even though somehow it seems she is sad.. thats not the case… She was happy then.. and is happy now too… just the complexities of our mind… which I thought she put into words very well…

  7. Rashmi says:

    So true….

    She wrote so well the toughest thing of life…all problems are created by mind only.

    Glad she find answer of her questions and is happy now..

    U can show her this comment section..may be she will find it encouraging enough to start a blog 🙂

    Me – but she is following this closely 😛 😛 😛

    • Rashmi says:

      :loL:

      does she comment on ur blog…do you wanna share her name 🙂

      Me – She doesnt comment… lol… and she likes her anonymity !! 😀 🙂

  8. zinggy_mum says:

    beautifully written….thoughts which crosses many a mind.
    wish v could all delve into our minds and get to know what v really want and what our real needs are…..

    Me – although she is confused… she has amazing clarity.. doesnt she.. Zinggy ?

  9. Saritha says:

    Very well written.

    ‘i’ is only an illusion. ‘I’ is the reality, the truth.— so true it is.

    Loved these lines—The present moment is the most powerful, potent thing

  10. Rakesh says:

    Introspective. Actually a little bit of introspection is really good. It de-clutters your brain but

    4. A human birth’s only purpose is realizing one’s true nature.

    I don’t get this one….

    I’ve been struggling with this as well – What is the purpose of this life?

    Me – Introspection at times leaves me totally flat… I kinda try to run away…

  11. Smitha says:

    That was so deep! You know, it is not many of us who can introspect so objectively and analytically. It is amazing how beautifully she has worked it all out for herself.

    And I have the same questions as many others.. ‘Pursue the truth as that’s the purpose of life.’ What is this truth? I for one, have not a clue.. and to be honest, have not even thought too much about it..

    ‘only one person is responsible for ones life- the person himself.’ – This is so true..

    She should definitely start blogging!

    Me – Thats what I tell her.. to blog and write her thoughts … if need be keep the blog private… I love reading her thoughts… !

  12. Govind says:

    Very profound! No words to explain the feeling. Like Hitchy says education is just not only we learn in school. What we do in school should be the means to get educated and not the end of education.

  13. Pallavi says:

    I think your friend is extremely courageous and a very strong person, to have been able to look in the mirror and face up to the truth! Not many people can do that!

    So,this was written last year? What did she do then? Hope she is well, and followed her dreams!

    As for blogging, I think people blog only because it makes them happy, and not because others ask him/her to ‘express him/her-self and vent out emotions/etc’. So I won’t try to push your friend to start a blog. That is entirely her wish. But if she does, I will be the first one to follow and cheer 🙂 as she seems to be an awesome person!!

    Me – She is absolutely fine and kicking ass !! lol… !! 😀

    regarding blogging I m sure it is to come from within… !! I dont push her… but I would love to read more of her…

    better put eh guru ?? 😛

  14. shraddha says:

    wow! degree or not your friend is very articulate and clear in thinking!!!

    if getting married is not on the plate, my personal opinion is , one should never miss out on parenthood and this individual could adopt a kid. I sincerely feel marriage is not something big that is missed in life but not having a kid is like a vaccum and leaves a balck hole in life.

    Design and content manager looks like pretty skilled job to me.Doing an online/ evening courses is an option.
    My dad did his MBA from IGNOU(India Gandhi Open University) and is very good!
    My sister is a gynecologist and did her Health Administration Post graduate diploma through weekend classes from here too!

  15. vimmuuu says:

    wow ! that was a good read. She should start blogging, man ! But I guess once she enters the blog world, she would end up being like one of us…you know…you know… !!!! 😀 😀 😀

  16. Destination Infinity says:

    Dhiren, if you can connect with this post I am wondering if we would have a Swamiji Dhiren after 20 years 😛

    On a serious note, my philosophy of life is simple: Degree or no-degree, money or no money one should make sure that they develop some skills as they go on in life… If one is passionate about the work they are doing to develop those skills, then they are lucky! Hard work, patience and determination alone can take them there… some discipline also helps.

    30 years is not a good time to look at the balance sheet of life – this is the time to invest in terms of skill sets that we develop. But whatever we do, I have a feeling that by the time we die, the balance sheet of life will be at 0. Debit and Credit will perfectly balance out. Even if one becomes an overnight crorepathi due to some luck!

    Destination Infinity

    Me – I do connect a bit… !! some of her quanderies are mine too.. I am sure yours too…

    interesting things you say DI this is the time to invest in terms of skill… !! 🙂

  17. kanagu says:

    Interesting and well written article bhai… 🙂 to me life is not about keep on earning… Its about whether we are enjoying this moment of life… Because many say if you do well today, tomo you can be really good.. But the reality is today.. Not the tomo.. If she enjoyed her life till now, then that is the greatest she achieved and everyone wants to achieve 🙂

  18. Lively says:

    Whoa!! That s some heavy stuff indeed. Good this helped her make a decision. So how s school treating her? 🙂

    Me – I dont think she has gone back to school yet… 😛 😛

  19. Solilo says:

    I totally agree with her #1 and #5.

    1. “कर्मण्ये वाधिकारस्ते म फलेषु कदाचना
    कर्मफलेह्तुर भुरमा ते संगोस्त्वकर्मानी॥”

    5. “We’re so busy watching out for what’s just ahead of us that we don’t take time to enjoy where we are.”

    I don’t agree with all points she jotted down but then it is her life and all that matters is she has planned her life the way she wants. 🙂

    Me – I dont agree to everything either… M sure even she doesnt agree to everything…

  20. R. Ramesh says:

    ya..wonderful deep meaning post yaar..loved it..true everything has to do with Now, now, now..there’s no past or future..life is always what happens now..so if we straigthen up the NOW, the future will take care of itself..ooooff.too much philosophy not gud..lemme stop..congrats

  21. oorja says:

    first of all.. she must start a blog.. would love to read more of her thoughts..

    secondly i think 30 is still young.. if she’s talking about earning.. there are ways other than studying also. though i would anyone recommend to complete basic studies if not any professional ones…
    she can try her hands in business..

  22. Hema says:

    Hey Everyone,

    Thanks for reading my little write-up. I have been reading all your comments. Thx for all the appreciation, love and your time.

    A little more about me – I am Hema, Dhiren’s first cousin, put up in Coimbatore. I am an MBA in finance, now pursuing my Actuarial Science studies (very very tough papers, don’t know how well I will do..)
    I work for a company that is into developing mobile games and applications for the US market. We also develop very important campaigns for some of the world’s largest retailers. Some of our partners/clients include Macy’s, Sears, USA Today, ELLE and Wiley Publishing company. I help with the design, manage the content and am one of the Project Managers.

    Other times when I am not working, I love being on my own and going for walks. I enjoy good food, visiting my friends and exploring new cities.
    I also read quite a bit, tho mostly spiritual. Some of my heroes, teachers and big big influences in my life and psyche are Sw Satchidananda, J Krishnamurthy, Ramana Maharishi, Mahatma Gandhi ji and Eckart Tolle (his book – The New Earth, highly recommended by me for people who want answers about life, existence and truth). Currently reading “Unaccustomed Earth” – Jhumpa Lahiri’s short stories – nicely written.

    Coming to my write-up, since I have no IT background, I used to get frustrated many a times at work due to my incapacity to judge the time lines of projects, efficiency of codes written and all the IT jargoning. Secondly, even though I have the best of things, my mind – always monkeying, gets frustrated many a times and comes up with so many quandaries, and weird feelings (one example is what you all read) . Nevertheless I love it. It is very exciting discovering my strengths,weaknesses and inconsistencies which in turn have moulded me into being a kinder and a less judgmental person. Also with time and experience, I now have got better at my work and am enjoying it.

    Time to close.
    Thanks again everybody for your time! Dhiren, thanks for the idea and am happy getting to interact with all your blog adda mates.

    Best,
    Hema

  23. umsreflections says:

    That was one post with too many learnings, yet very true !!! I saw myself nodding a confirmation to a few of those, which I too have learned in the course of my life, so far.

    MBA in Finance and doing Actuarial Science – Come on, Hema, why do u say that you dont have a professional degree ????? Gone are those days, where only medicine and engineering graduates were called as professional degree holders. Today even an artist, that too – a potter,is a professional, for the value of things in other creative areas have increased. The only thing that matters is the professional satisfaction that you derive from doing a job.

    • Hema says:

      Very true. It was a mistake.
      I am in an industry (IT) of which I don’t know much and am not where I think I should be, given a finance background. That was the thought behind writing “No professional degree”. Penned wrongly.

      Reason to now mention I am an MBA and pursuing further studies: lot of them were suggesting I complete my studies or atleast get a basic degree.

      Hema

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