Listless moi

Having decided to not market investments and just wait for an advice seeking investor at times leaves me with so much of free time it becomes scary… Ever since I decided not to talk to anyone about investing unless someone asks means a lot of time to twiddle thumbs. I have realized over time that I seriously must not waste my time trying to advise when it is not heeded as it only leads to time waste. Whilst some of my friends & former colleagues are frustrated with me why I would sit about and not use leads that they provided to me out of complete and honest well wishing for me I think I have it clearly figured and am bull headed about it.

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In the beginning I felt zenlike at times, cool that almost everyone was busy and I had so much time on my hands, I would marvel at how all clients remarked how active I was on Facebook that I travel more than them and that jalse to mere hi chal rahe hai… coz I get an afternoon siesta that so many crave for.  Apparently at this very time whilst the income is settling quite nicely for the first time in life I stuck a period of huge inactivity at work front. Some big business came and settled all income insecurities, however it all happened too fast and as far as my time consumed was very little and I was left at most times with almost nothing to do and no pending work.

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I would wake up jog, visualize how I would decorate my garden, water a bit, dig a bit have my breakfast, read the paper, listen to music and even after that it would only be 8 am :-/ I would browse news sites, check my bank balance, get all forms and work things ready and get ready and it would still be 9. 😐 Cricket was there but, sigh… our team…sigh lets not go there or this will be a post on cricket and Anonymously Disguised will again cry. A chai/nashta trip at mutual fund offices or a few clients offices and I would be back for lunch at 2. A small snooze and again evening would be like where do I go !? What do I do !? Almost all friends are quite busy in their work and the only other free lancer like me Jay was travelling with Anala. I would think I should have joined him and then I think what if a call comes. Its Tax Saving season but apparently all my clients seem to be too wealthy and have already covered for Sec 80c of their lives ! :-/ Then again taking wifey out for an evening of pani puri, another evening to buy her clothes and another evening to buy junior’s things and still you have another evening trying to seek something to do…

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I felt a strange kind of dissatisfaction of sorts, that I am not doing enough, I should be working types, dunno what happened to my laziness loving soul who would die for free time on my hands. I always used to think I would love doing nothing and yet here I was puzzled. I even have two short trips planned one this month end and one next month.

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All of a sudden it seemed there was some zeal missing which is not the case normally. I would not enjoy almost anything and everything and keep myself occupied and yet I reached a realm of listlessness. No matter how many blogs I read I barely am able to make a comment, apparently the sense of humor quotient is really going dry and I resist. I try my best to get back to writing my blog of something but even that somehow is just not happening. this post has been saved as draft 3 times but hell I must post. I have decided to go on a posting spree maybe that will get me writing and move from being aimless… although pretty sure once the vacationing begins I will be a lot more back to life I guess. There probably are all sorts of phases and so Hitchy too does encounter a phase when neither chats are interesting or girls or cricket is painful and food doesnt appeal and apparently nothing is wrong and yet…. maybe it is a sign of growing… in age ! 😛

 

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11 thoughts on “Listless moi

  1. Ashwathy says:

    You must post!!! Definitely 😛 And more often!!

    You know what’s wrong?? I wasn’t around in Bharuch while you were having free time!! :mrgreen: Taking me out and showing me around stuff would have definitely kept you occupied! 😀 😀

  2. Varsh says:

    Not many of us think that the joy of nothingness is enjoyable. and even fewer ones get the chance to experience it for real. I think though this phase is making you feel low, very soon you’ll miss this relaxed period more than anything else!
    I had a similar feeling of sorts when I took a break from work after my son was born. It killed me to think that all people I know; my colleagues, my friends and relatives, are going about their work as usual and I’ve nothing concrete to account for the time I’m spending. But now that I’m heading towards my second stint at work, I’m dreading having to leave my comfort zone.
    You’re doing the right thing. Spend time with your wife, follow your passions, take small trips. But make sure you don’t do this for the FB junta to know that you’re back to being your true self. Do it only for yourself. 🙂

    • hitchy says:

      I always thought it was enjoyable… but after a while even that nothingness starts to kind of bug ! Sometimes its like you just have to wait for a while for doing everything and that wait is kind off killing… but I m glad my vacation is almost here ! 😀 I think my gypsy soul was bored of being in the same town since 3 months ! 😛

      😛 & You will be glad to know I have de-activated Facebook… 😀 😀 😀

      • Varsh says:

        Getting your point 🙂 I really envy the way you can be a gypsy and explore new places and cuisines 😛
        I haven’t logged on to Fb since a long time more so for not getting distracted while I study. There’s some definite peace of mind not having to think and feel compelled to ‘like’, ‘comment’ or reply to comments. Guess I’ll deactivate soon too 😀 😛

  3. UmaS says:

    Oh Dhiren…I totally understand this phase, as I just was a witness to my husband going thru a similar phase…. Hey, you two are Sagittarius, right ???
    This too shall pass and you’ll find that your listlessness gone with the wind !!! Just wait…in the mean time, enjoy your life for all that it give you !!! Hugs Hitchy !!!

    • hitchy says:

      I recently read a very interesting prediction of the zodiac sign Saggitarius in one book… let me find it online I will share with you… it was apt for me in many ways… ! 😀

      I am pretty sure these phases shall also pass 🙂 I am only kind of amazed that I felt like i should be working ! which is RARE ! 😛

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