Age is an issue of mind over matter.
If you don’t mind it doesn’t matter. – Mark Twain
So says one of the greatest authors and story tellers the planet has ever seen, perhaps that is the truth, however, everyone from time to time when approaching an age he once thought was old always has all sorts of thoughts in his head. A very dear friend is almost there and when she talked about the 40th birthday I didn’t want to listen, I wanted to almost go blind and deaf at the mention of the topic.
Damn I am approaching my 40th too and soon, I dunno how I should be feeling like, is this how I am supposed to feel at this age?! Is this just a bloody number, coz I don’t feel any saner or any wiser or any calmness is taking over me. Why am I still the same old(should be young but thats how english goes) fidgety, indecisive, impetuous fellow. Perhaps what Twain quoted, its an issue of mind over matter. Perhaps the mind is the same, so many moments still cross by when I appear to my own self after the moment has passed to be so childish and kiddish. Now wait a minute, how can I myself at one moment be childish and at that very moment call my behaviour childish!?
Fuck! Comprehend anyone??
Physically yes, I can’t reach that cross court forehand that would have been done in an instant ten years back, so many times I see my opponent on a tennis court playing the ball softly and I know I need to get my fat ass moving, but instead of my body starting to react automatically, that is what used to be called hand eye co-ordination in cricket and eye-feet co-ordination I term in tennis, is kind of stationary till my mind actually compels it to start moving and on so many occasions I am late. Yes, reactions have slowed, the biggest, saddest truth of this age, for a guy who is crazy about sports and someone who used to claim that he is not at all clumsy when it came to flexing the body suddenly feels he is starting to be a bit like the others. That is natural though and I am more kind in accepting it, bloody can’t help it can I?
Acceptance or being shoved down the throat, whatever you might call it is happening there, but the brain?! Its perplexing, one moment I am shrieking a song in the house so loud all my mom’s lil students look at me and giggle, the next moment I am advising my brother to spend some less time on his mobile game and spend that time with his wife! Yea, I am scratching my head too, what in the world do you make of it?
Perhaps, this antithesis is a more constant thing, age maybe is after all just a number. Inside the top floor of the body, it seems the process is unchanged, its still got to become wiser than it is, it is still going to throw fits of madness, it is still going to behave without any set patterns. It never feels like 40 when I am thinking or even when I am looking in the mirror, okay maybe I am biased there. It hits bad when some young girl of 20 suddenly wants you to adopt her!! It hits you at times and then I shrug it off looking at the fact that you are cool enough that people want you in their lives permanently.
Looking at positives in the end is all there is to it ain’t it? Bring on the 40’s!! My lungs still have it in them to climb up these measly mountains, pant a bit on the way but at the end stand tall and set my eyes on the next mountain! 🙂 *totalsmugnessoverload*
p.s. Writing in order to get the writing bug back after I threw myself a challenge here.