“The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page.” ― St. Augustine.
This has always been one of my most favourite quotes that I have ever read more so I just keep telling everyone about this, that has to be the essence of my life. I want to continue reading this never ending book. If I can keep moving about and keep discovering new places, stories, people, cuisines all the time I will be most satisfied. The restlessness that dawns upon me when I am not moving about for a long stretch of time has begun to wear me down at times. I have reached a space where I just cannot stay put and I must keep moving.
Yes, in this real world, you have to explain everyone why do you need to keep doing this? Wasn’t one vacation in 6 months enough? or a holiday once in 2 years pretty okay?? You are taking a trip every month now!! Hell, how does it matter? Whom am I bothering? Yet everyone around me, day and night, friend and relative, intentionally or unintentionally wants a justification. What I have learnt over a period of time is to not let it bother and keep justifying, keep going, keep moving and not let up!
So let another day come and let another trip be planned, let the gypsy in me be alive, let it keep wishing for more and more travel.
It was on 1st May last year when after a meeting in office where I felt unreasonable firing was given to our Sales team by our as impractical boss as there can be, I went home and told my wife, I have had enough, I want to chuck this job, and today !! I was pissed off and although you should never take decisions when you are emotional and I wanted to do exactly that.
She was probably stunned but didn’t show, she knew I didn’t like the job much, it was a stop gap job to move to Bharuch first and find another in a Bank perhaps, but things were not working out there. She listened and told me think it over and decide. I told her, getting a job in an Insurance company if things didnt work out independently was 1o mins job. I must take this chance. I will also do some content writing and somehow make it up. She told me if you really feel confident and are sure go ahead. She just had got permanent in her school job and promised full support if a crisis arose. Those were just the words I wanted to hear at that point. At most times in my life for all decisions and changes I made I have had a lovely companion who has always supported and stood by my decisions even the wrong ones 🙂 God bless her 🙂
Since ours is a joint family next to be informed in line were my Mom and brothers and they all also thought it was upto me to decide and hence the resignation was written the same day and the notice period began !
Luckily I was a Mutual Fund Advisor and my previous boss in Max New York Life had encouraged me to do the side business even though I was doing this job. I had got good business during the year. Even the impractical boss was an investor with me. Every colleague of mine was worried how can I survive on Mutual Fund selling. In 2011 there were 85000 Mutual Fund distributors in India of which only 14000 odd were active. Meaning only they did new business every month. The commissions in the mutual fund industry had dwindled and lots of distributors who now do business actually charge the customer for the service they provide.
Unlike my job here I was not bound to sell just one product but had to actually use my brains to find out the best product. I was not tied to one company no longer did I have to squash my guilt of selling an inferior product well knowing that there were a lot of better options available in the market. When someone asks you what do you think is the best alternative I would blurt the truth and sales would not be concluded as my product had many superior products in the market. Insurance as an industry in India works on basis of getting investments, where as reality is one should never invest in Insurance. With that naked truth in my mind it was terribly difficult to sell insurance. I didn’t actually have to sell, get it sold by others but most of the times the others would put me in front of the client and when the client would look at me and ask is this the best I couldn’t help it. It was killing me.
Eventually thanks to my wife I managed to chuck the job off and started my own firm. A few things I had decided to do not to sell products that give high commission as they are invariably not good for the investor. Hoping and praying that the low commission product selling would eventually do the customers good and they would refer me. Another very important and to many, including my wife, a strange decision was to not do any direct marketing. I decided I will not ask people to buy from me unless they seek my advice. In this market everyone is out to sell financial products and so much mis-selling has happened that a lot of consumers have completely lost faith and when anyone comes to sell anything to them direct they are most apprehensive. I used to work as a free lancer before I shifted to Indore so I had a client base earlier. The only bit of marketing I did was to sms people about the products available in the market from time to time and if anyone got interested and called that is when I was to get cracking.
The most anxious moment of my life has perhaps now passed. Today one year down the line I am a lot more relaxed and assured of myself. Thankfully the investors have opened their wallets and so far so good. I now have enough time to look after the extension work going on at my house or be with my son to play cricket when he wants, or cook a new recipe I see on a cooking blog. I can now help at home whenever I want to and can take a break when I want to 🙂
Most importantly I like my work now, for the first time in my life I don’t loathe at work. I go out to meet people drink tea with them, have lunch with them, talk about my travel or my blog and show some of them how to work on facebook and they invest with me. Many times I have no work and I just go out to the city to show my faces to all sorts of people and they suddenly remember they have so and so money lying which they would like to invest 🙂 Like Rocket Singh says always give your customers more than they expect. In a time when people are charging a fee and giving no service I don’t charge any fee and try my best to keep my investors happy 🙂 Their satisfaction has ensured the volume of business has gone up and the miniscule commission that the MF’s pay is sufficing. 🙂
So far I have been working from home but I hope to rope in another guy as a partner and look forward to opening an office next year. Touchwood but this is slowly but surely starting to work out. Travel is now so much easier, trips are now happening at the frequency I love and looks like more and more trips beckon 😀 😀 😀 😀 I can take breaks impromptu and being a reasonably greedy guy is helping settle things in life for the first time. I know I shouldn’t be counting my chickens yet, this is only the beginning.
This song has been an inspiration and I want to dedicate it to my wife who is vacationing in Pune. 🙂
Lets now sms her to read this post. I am sure a smile and a lot more beckons when I reach Pune to meet her tomorrow 🙂 It would not have happened without you sweetheart 🙂 ❤
Its quite intriguing how kids change their playing habits, for a while its something that they are obsessed with and then suddenly its something new that captures their fancy.
The latest obsession my son has with the toy doctor set is unbelievable… half of the day he has the stethoscope in his ears and is listening to all sorts of things investigating the refrigerator, the floor, the door the phone, his toy animals gee… !
If you give the slightest indication that you have some problem the doctor in the house will be breathing down your neck with solutions !!!!! 🙂 😀
As I read more and more people suggesting Dhoni to play 5 bowlers or stick to 7 batsmen… I sort of smirk… they all dont get it do they… even Gavaskar’s, Shashtri’s and Bhogle’s too… the fact that differentiates Dhoni from the rest is the fact that he is his OWN man !
The media, former cricketers, crowd et all can go jump in the lake but Dhoni will stick with what he feels in his mind is best for his team.
A captain must not get swayed by emotions and judgements made by others and only follow things that he himself believes in as if something goes wrong he then has back up plans.
I still remember one of the best pieces of advice that Naseer Hussain considers he got was from Richie Benaud, a very astute skipper and thinker of the game. Benaud told him when he was appointed captain,
“Either do things your own way or dont do them at all !”
India must be glad even without that advice Dhoni comes straight from that school.
If you would like to read a bit more about captains Please visit the following link : https://hitchwriter.wordpress.com/2009/01/24/ace-skippers/
These days the one song that is always on my lips is Daaaaaarling…. aankhon se aankhen chaar karne do…. !!!! I just love the frenzy the song kicks up… ! Lovely twisty song I say… ! 😀
I infact even liked the movie…. Apart from the darkness in the movie… I envied Priyanka’s life as Madamji … wouldnt it be great to have such estates and such wealth which leaves you with nothing to do and all you have to do is to think of JUST living life… Seeking pleasures and satisfaction… instead of thinking all the time about how to earn a living to live a life… 😛 😛 😛 😛
In walks the lil champ…
Mom : Hi !
Kid : Hey !!
Mom : how was you day ?
Kid : Good !
Mom : Good or very good ?
Kid : Very Good !!!
Mom : Why ? What happened ??
Kid : I was left out of the annual day dance Yay… !!
The guy has totally taken mine & my biwi’s genes… he was thrilled that he had been removed from his school annual day dance… he finds it utterly silly to turn around and have hands on hips… he along with 5 other girls and boys were removed yesterday from the dance and the kid was just relieved !!!!
On inquiring today his teacher said… aiyoo… he just doesnt have a dancing bone in his body !!!!!
I couldnt help chuckling when my wife narrated this incident to me !!!! 😆
Life at 31
Age 4 -20: School, Graduation
Age 20-30: Working with dad (just 5 hrs a day) in our retail store
Age 30 – to now: Working as Design and Content Manager
What do I have today?
1. Zero bank balance
2. No work experience (actual, real kind of work)
3. No professional degree
I wonder who I am and what I stand for today. Was never very enthusiastic about going to school, college …actually did not like the education system, just did not fit in it. (nobody at home had a clue of it). And fully well know it is no reason for me to have not got a professional degree as many of my batch mates have done wonderfully well with loads of hard work and perseverance. I just was not motivated enough and unfortunately was not in that kind of an environment. The others who too did not get into profession and work around me were getting married and starting their new lives. I also went thru that stage of meeting families and eligible men with whom one would want to settle down but just did not connect with any.
So today, I am neither out there capturing the world nor a wife/mother combo. It is so easy to blame parents, hurt people but I can’t do it, for its not me, me being the one who strongly believes that, only one person is responsible for ones life- the person himself.
Guys, all though the tone may sound all negative, like a weakling’s, a failed person, it isn’t. I am just taking the balance sheet of life (at age 30!! funny, isn’t it??) to analyze and do what needs to be done next. Life, like always and as its nature is, did bring in a lot of other things. I got exposed to a very different way of existence or living one’s life, of which I remember contemplating even as a teenager.
I accidentally bumped into a friend who took me over to a Yoga Center and from where there has been no turning back. I met people from different cultures, who were in different areas in their lives, people with their own stories and most of all this MAN who had chosen to drop off everything he had, to find out who he really IS. And who, in his journey did touch millions of lives.
Today if I have to jot down all that I really truly know; not what I have read or heard from other people.
1. One can only do things; the results are not for us to decide.
2. The best things in life are the ones which did not work out, no matter how badly one wanted them when swallowed fully in them.
3. Life is simply generous, easy and mind blowing!
4. Being one with oneself is the highest respect a man can show towards life.
5. The present moment is the most powerful, potent thing.
Other timeless truths which I’ve heard from enlightened gurus, read in scriptures of which I have no real experience, but have had a taste are:
1. Nothing from ‘outside’ can make one happy.
2. The world is merely one’s own projection.
3. ‘i’ is only an illusion. ‘I’ is the reality, the truth.
4. A human birth’s only purpose is realizing one’s true nature.
Now today at 31, am at crossroads as to what I should do?
a. Go back to school, get a professional degree (earn moolah to fulfill ones material goals, Also is one way of giving back to society)
b. As truth and happiness cannot be found outside, stay put.
c. Surrender, give into life, and take each day as it comes (as the result is not in our hands).
d. Pursue the truth as that’s the purpose of life.
As I am writing the above four lines I realize that none of the above are or need to be exclusive. Having done this exercise, I now know I need to go to school, get a professional degree, get into something intensive and experience that life for a while…
Will come up with another one like this in a year!
A friend who follows my blog very closely once after seeing me write wrote the above piece and sent it to me on email… I have been trying to get her to start a blog but she wont… this was written last year in September…
so I guess its time for another… what do you say guys… lets have ur reactions… 🙂 🙂
We hurt them the most…
Whom we love the most…
Just read Solilo Don’s post about her dad and the comment banter led me to the topic of dowry and an idea for a post brewed up….
Now yours truly had a love marriage, the love came into the open a tad early when yours truly was earning only Rs. 3000/- a month… so obviously when the girls dad came to know about it he is bound to have lots of problems with this fact…
He shows her MBA grooms earning fat 5 figure salaries and says prefer them to this a lowly B.com…. she says Dad we are like HDFC slow and steady but always growing… ( HDFC = Hetal Dhiren Fabulous Couple)
Eventually a few interviews later the lowly Bcom finds a job good enough to support himself and her… Now comes the marriage talk part…
Mom is like.. how can i approach directly…
some one must arrange a meeting…
I was tooo snooty… I didnt like my mom’s hesitation… (they were richer than us, so what !!)
I kicked my bike…
off to her house and in total hero style that day… went and told her dad… We both love each other and have decided to spend our lives together… !!! We seek your permission… !! Here I was in a jeans and t-shirt, unshaven but with lots of gusto… 😀
He was taken aback… but recovered to his senses and well, seeked to meet my Mom. Things took care of themselves there after… I wanted a civil marriage with no relatives… only me my wife and my brothers parents and my friends… Not that I hated my relatives… but involving more people meant this is to be done and that is not to be done etc.. plus KHARCHA … I was very clear… whatever kind of wedding I had… but I had to have a good honeymoon… I didnt want any scarcity there… but alas…. My FIL didnt want a hush-hush affair…
So we had a proper wedding as my wife didnt want to disappoint her dad before leaving their house…
Yours truly became total Kangaal in that wedding… coz he had barely started earning …. Borrowed money for the honeymoon too from a friend… !!!! sigh… !!! but had a lavish honeymoon nevertheless… 😀 😀 😀
I remember when we three brothers were growing people would always joke with our parents that we have no kharcha… that you have 3 boys… !!! 🙂
When I was growing up in those days we would have lots of TV programs where they would show DIL’s burnt and harassed when they didnt bring dowry etc… So we did desist dowry but at the same time I was clear in my mind that although I wont demand dowry… I am sure I would be given tons of gifts…. I was drooling at that thought…. 🙂
Even when we went to get my wedding card printed I was seriously telling my mom to write that dont come without gifts to the wedding….. but sanity prevailed…
Uniquely enough in our caste wedding, the daughters dad doesnt have too much kharcha, the bride sits in the wedding wearing all clothes and jewellery that the boy’s side family have given to her… only the nose ring for the girl comes from her father’s family (the nose ring is symbolic that she is to keep the nose meaning respect of her Dad’s house in the new family, Fortunately for my FIL my wife doesnt have a nose pierced… so that kharcha of his was also saved…)
Admist all the chaos the two Samdhi’s had not decided how to marry in Jain style (my religion) or Hindu style (her religion) and strangely enough both my parents and her parents were not very clear about how and what to do… so eventually we ended up doing a wedding in Arya samaj vidhi which the pandit did all by himself…… everything went fine… untill the wedding got over and everyone started asking … arre… mera phera to aaya hi nahi… so while we stopped after 4 fera’s…. they made us do another 3 !!!!! The pandit kept grumbling all the time.. coz my friends had pelted him with a gazillion flowers specifically targetting him…. 😀
I still dont remember what any of my side relatives gave me… all I can remember is that they all kept giving gifts to my wife (jewellery) … which she claims as “Stree Dhan”… I so many times coax her to sell it all and invest in shares but she wont…
Even my Mom she didnt give me a gift for my wedding…. but kept giving her tons of jewellery and sarees… !!!! (yes yours truly paid for a fair few of them too)
The one gift my brothers gave me was a beautiful photo frame… which the idiots liked too much so they thought they would gift it to me and it would adorn the drawing room walls !!!!!!!! (some gift that)
Yes… a couple of good souls gifted the his and her watches… they were the only saving grace… most gifted me with cups and saucers and night lamps and what not…. so many just gave us flowers… yelch… !!!!! What a waste… show me the money honey… !!!
I had hopes I would get gifts…. I had hopes I would get dowry …. after all I was the boy !!!!!!! However as they say truth is stranger than fiction…
At the end of the entire wedding what I received was 2 pairs of clothes from my In-laws, (they were gifting a suit I didnt take as i wouldnt wear so they gifted two pairs) one Gold Chain and would you believe it… one Godrej Storewell Cupboard… and inspite of me saying no zillion times they would gift their daughter with a cupboard… !!!!
So you tell me what kind of dowry is this ??? 2 pairs of clothes, 1 chain that i dont wear and 1 Cupboard ???? 😦
I told her so many times… tell your dad if he wants to give something give me his car… why the heck is he hell bent upon giving me a goddamn cupboard ????
Now Sol’s …. she was 48 kgs when i married her… and she is a lot more now… !!!! Cant mention the weight exactly coz she will make me sleep outside the house… 😳
You know an amazing thing was captured by our photographer…. after the bidaai… where everyone was crying and we left… the photo grapher kept shooting and he shot my wife’s brother and dad both laughing…. almost immediately after we had left… !!!!!!!!!!!
(were they all pretending ????? OMG )
Whether it was some joke or were they laughing on me…. sigh…. I will never know…. !!!!! 😦
Maybe they were thinking on the lines…. “Yeh to khud hi aa ke le gaya… humko to dhoondna bhi nahi pada… huh ??”